Saturday, October 31, 2009

Boys? Abandoned? No way!

"How did you get a boy? The Chinese don't give up their boys! Culturally that's just wrong."
"What's wrong with him?"
Or my favorite: "He's not Chinese. He can't be! Where is he REALLY from?"

Those questions and more are asked on a regular basis and quite frankly I'm tired of them! Our boys ARE Chinese, we got boys by asking, and Ryan was a healthy child adoption. Logan has medical needs, yes, but there are many other boys available as healthy children. Sometimes for boys their only special need is a family!

Today marks the 4th anniversary of Ryan's adoption. Later I hope to post more about that, but in the meantime, I wanted to share something else with you. Over the last 4 years I have spent much time thinking and praying for Ryan's birth parents, his "China mommy and China daddy" as we refer to them. We have never presumed to know why Ryan was left on the orphanage steps. He was just over 9 weeks old when he was found. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of walking away from my 9 week old baby, and I suppose that at some level I have simply refused to believe that a mother could do that. Logan was found at 3 days old and the assumption has always been that it was because of his cleft and an inability to care for him, to feed him, to get him the medical help he needed. His province is very poor, with an average per capita income of roughly $1000/year. Reading this very thoughtful piece on abandonment in China, my heart aches. I cannot imagine the heartache and pain of losing a child you love so dearly and yet it appears to happen more often than we like to believe. As Amy (the author) writes, we often give "...simple, one line sentences, to explain a personal life event that is often very complex."

As we celebrate 4 years with Ryan (and spend it watching Emily play volleyball) I would encourage you to read Amy's blog post. It will open your eyes. It accurately reflects what I witnessed first-hand in Honduras almost 6 years ago. You will view the world--and my children!--differently, perhaps with less judgment. Just make sure you have tissues handy!

A Life of Giving: Abandonment

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