Wednesday, February 20, 2008

video clip of Logan

Here's a link to a clip of Logan taken Saturday at House of Love, the name of the house he lives in at Philip Hayden Foundation. He's wearing the green sweater. Apparently the child crying in the background is upset because he thought the balloon was only for him.


STILL waiting...

...but this helps put it in perspective.


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
"Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

~~~Russell Kelfer~~~

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Oh. My. Word.

Woke up this morning to an INCREDIBLE treat--the family who took our gifts to Logan has arrived and sent us pictures of him. Mary says he's a "ball of energy" and that we'll have our hands full. I can't wait!

Some pics taken Feb 16 (yep, today!):

holding up the shirt we sent so we can "see" how big he is--the shirt is a 4T. He's just about Ryan's size... The white thing on the shirt is a heart shaped note telling him in Chinese that this is a special shirt just for him that matches one Ryan has. It also says that we love him and are excited to have him come live with us. It's signed by Mommy and Daddy.

Logan looking at his new family in a photo album. He's sitting with Mary, our wonderful "courier." Each picture is captioned in both English and Chinese so it can be explained to him by whatever staff is available.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Thank God for friends! They provide the love and support needed at just the right time. In my e-mail this morning was this note:

Sorry to hear the bad news.....
I know this is hard, and it is always difficult to understand why God's ways are not always the same as ours.
On the other hand, you can be assured that THIS is God's will, as that is what we have all been praying for.
Sounds like things are actually progressing right along for Logan :-), so i think i am going to concentrate on you.
I'll be praying that God's blessings will be evident to you, so that you will be able to praise Him with thanksgiving in spite of the set back.

What else could we ask??? Thank you...

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Nothing much to report yet. I'm disappointed, but still hanging in there. We got some great pics this morning from the guest relations coordinator at Shepherd's Field (Philip Hayden Foundation, of our Logan. They were taken in the last few days. Plus, we have a family traveling to China this week. They're carrying a package from us to Logan that includes a photo album and a special gift just for him from Ryan. She promised me she'd take lots of pictures and give him lots of "mommy love." We're grateful for her willingness to play postman for us. Thanks Mary! :)

Enjoy the pics of our guy...


Sunday, February 10, 2008

and a new day

Isn't it amazing how one day can change your perspective? Just yesterday I was struggling terribly. Honestly, today isn't tons better, but my perspective has changed a bit. Yes, I am still missing having my oldest son around. Yes, I still wish that the CCAA would send our paperwork so that we can travel already. Yes, I'm still frustrated. But today, our pastor shared something that I needed to hear. He's preaching a series from James, and today's sermon was from James 5:7-12. The part that really struck me this morning:

Patience = confidence + control

or, patience is having confidence in God that He is truly in control. Boy did I ever need that reminder. Of course, it came on the heels of this worship song by Matt Redman called You Never Let Go. The words go, in part, like this:

Even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back
I know You are near

I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear,
Whom then shall I fear

Oh no You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no You never let go
Lord You never let go of me

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

It was hard to sing, knowing that I was NOT trusting God, not holding on. So now my focus is renewed--on the correct target, no less!--and I know that I will make it. Whether our Letter Seeking Confirmation arrives tomorrow, or Tuesday, or March 14, we will take comfort in the fact that God is in control. Our confidence in His control will provide all the patience we need.

Much better,


Saturday, February 9, 2008


I've never been good at "limbo." The not knowing what is happening causes my stress level to soar after while, and we've hit that point. I guess it's a good thing I have REALLY low blood pressure normally, since it would be through the roof right now.

This business of not knowing when we're going to travel, when I have to have our $$ from the bank (new bills only, of course, so not easy to get), when I need to make sure everyone's paperwork is ready so we can get visas, exactly who is going to be able to go with us and what we're going to do with those who can't, how Jim's going to manage the time off with his job so crazy right now...well you get the picture. It's beginning to really weigh on me, and as hard as I try to leave it to God, I'm doing a pretty good job right now of taking it back about every 30 minutes! I KNOW He's in control of the timing and the finances and the arrangements, so why do I insist on worrying?? Probably because it's the only thing I can do right now.

Emily and I went to Target this morning and picked up some basics, including some meds and travel stuff for our trip. My "China box" is getting more full, which is good. But still, it's hard to know how much I need since I still don't know who/how many are going.

Jim's work schedule is hard too, and can be the source of struggles if I let it. He's working about 55-60 hours a week right now, and I'm really starting to feel it. But he just walked in the door! I'm off to spend some time with him...more later!



Tuesday, February 5, 2008

When it rains, it pours...

I'm still not sure how we will REALLY be able to afford to take all our children with us when we travel to China to bring Logan home. The flip side, though, is that I KNOW we cannot afford to leave them home--this is an experience of a lifetime! Brent, who didn't appear to enjoy himself at all when we brought Ryan home, is still struggling with the possibility that he may not be able to go this time. And it's not because he wants to skip out on commitments--it's not easy to arrange for coverage at his job, he has no vacation time, and taking time out of college classes is no cakewalk. He really truly wants to be there! And so, we continue to plan and pray...

And today we had a curve thrown at us. One that indicates to me that our LOA may be coming soon! (We have a very dear friend and incredibly faithful prayer warrior who says, "SOON." Keep praying!) We have 2 cars that need work done. Jim does much/most of the maintenance on our cars, but these are things he cannot do, and right now he has no time anyway. We have a great mechanic friend and he's doing some. The rest is being done by someone he recommends. But in the end, the work will cost nearly $3000. I'm swallowing hard, because that's a huge chunk of change. It could mean the difference between children going and children not going. I know we have no choice in the matter--we have to fix the cars--but honestly, I'm struggling. I KNOW God is able to provide everything we need. I KNOW that none of this, even the car repair, is a surprise to Him. I'm trying not to panic; working to remember that God is in control. I so desperately want to share this experience with all of them, want them to be part of Logan's introduction to our family. I believe with all my heart that it's important for them and for him. And so, if you feel led, pray for us in this. Pray for peace and for provision. God is able. And that's good.

One other note: please pray for the orphaned children in China. With the horrible weather they've been having, there are many orphanages without power, water, and food. Half the Sky ( is an incredible US organization that works in China, and they are taking donations for basic supplies for orphanages in 6 provinces. We are fortunate in that it doesn't appear that Logan's home at PHF is in any danger, but you can keep them in your prayers as well. If you are able, visit Half the Sky's website and make a donation. Every penny will make a difference for these children. Jenny Bowen at Half the Sky has incredible updates on her website.

Hanging on,