5!

Remember the anticipation of your birthday? How exciting it was to get up in the morning and KNOW that it was your special day? Well, Logan's got that part all figured out. Not bad for only being here 17 months.

This morning, the first thing I heard when Logan came downstairs was "Why Daddy work? Today MY BIRTHDAY!" And what an exciting birthday it is...every child longs to be 5. After all, when you're 5, you're finally "bigger" enough to do all those things you've always wanted to do...go to school, help with the laundry, set the table, do the dishes. How quickly they forget what it's like to be too small to help!

It's a bit bittersweet around here today. Logan IS 5, and that's such fun. It is a blast to see him so totally excited about his day. But even as we celebrate, I think of the couple somewhere in China who must be mourning their baby. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it would be to know that you don't have the resources to take care of your child, to feel that the only option is to leave them on a street corner somewhere and walk away. Logan was 3 days old when he was found. For me, Logan's joy and excitement are tempered by the sorrow of his "China mommy and China daddy" and their loss.

It's bittersweet in yet another way as well. While every parent looks forward to the day that their child is ready for school, sometimes it's hard. Finally, after months of effort and several rejections, yesterday Logan was finally accepted into the developmental preschool in our local public school. He'll probably start November 2. His needs are greater than what we can do with the limited-but-awesome private therapy we get. I can do many of the exercises with him at home, but for his speech in particular, he needs WAY more help. His overall gross motor and fine motor skills also need significant help. Without the developmental preschool, there's NO WAY Logan will be classroom ready next fall. Even with it, neither of us expects that Logan will be classroom ready next fall. At this point, the plan is to homeschool him for the next few years. After attending the workshop last weekend on "Optimizing Literacy for Children with Hearing Loss," I'm even more convinced that he will learn much better at home than in a classroom setting. (Trying to get our school speech therapy team on the same page with the private speech therapist and the recommendations of the craniofacial team speech therapist has been a frustrating exercise. I'm seeing that meeting Logan's needs doesn't seem to be their highest priority!) Could he surprise us? Absolutely! Will it change what we do next year? Highly unlikely. After all, NO ONE has the vested interest in Logan's success that we do. So I've resigned myself to preschool this year; a sacrifice now for a better outcome overall. I hope.

So tonight we'll eat Logan's requested meal: spaghetti, salad, and french bread, followed by orange and white striped cake with candles. Presents? You bet! A Leapster 2 for him, a game to develop auditory processing skills (another significant issue for him), some Wikki Stix, a new shirt, and maybe even some new sweats (if I can find some that will work). And I'll post pics of the birthday boy with the cake and presents later. But if we're going to have cake, I'd better get moving!