grrrrr…….

WARNING:  Major vent ahead.  Being very real…and very vulnerable here.  Read at your own risk…but please don’t throw stones.

I have come to the conclusion that being a full time at home parent is a thankless, un(der)appreciated job.  No, it hasn’t taken me 21 years to reach this conclusion (I’m slow but not THAT slow).  I’ve just had the lesson hammered home in the last little bit.   Being the primary cheerleader for 7 people is a lot…

Don’t get me wrong—I LOVE staying home with my crew.  It’s just that I can’t remember the last time someone said thank you for clean clothes…or food…or a clean bed to sleep in.  Or at least without a reminder.  I am tired of perpetually moving things that get left where they don’t belong.  I don’t want more STUFF in this house—I am the one who has to clean it and dust it and take care of it.  Apparently I’m so good at what I do that the rest of them are nearly incompetent to handle things on their own.  When I took the little guys to Oceanside to see Brent, I came home to 15 phone messages and 6 days worth of unopened mail.  “We didn’t want to mess with any of it, Mom, so we left it for you.”  Well, that’s just swell, except that some of the phone messages needed to be dealt with while I was gone and any of them could have taken care of it.  Last week when I was in Pullman, I got not one but 2 phone calls letting me know that something smelled bad in the fridge.  “Well, take care of it!” was my ever-so-helpful reply.  But did they?  Nope.  Just reminded me within 10 minutes of my arrival that there was something nasty in there…and that I should find it.   Such a great welcome home for someone with a migraine and upset stomach.  Ugh.

Even my time away in Pullman really wasn’t time away.  I did have the opportunity to do something I wanted to do (take pictures) but I spent the vast majority of my time working on the calendar and coursework for next fall for the little guys (homeschool planning), sorting through math curricula, sifting science options, and finding music and art options appropriate for kindergarten.   I did some hand-holding for my college bound girl, settled squabbles over the phone, and kept everyone reminded of the schedule. 

Although I did have the opportunity to read one book, it wasn’t the refreshing, recharging time I had hoped for.  My reserves are pretty low these days.  Trying to juggle 3 people’s work schedules, speech therapy, camps, summer volleyball, and the everyday stuff of keeping the house running gets old.  Having no oven has been surprisingly draining.  We have hit the end of my 'bake-less’ dinner options, and I’m getting frustrated.  I actually cried today when I realized that brownies and ice cream for dessert wouldn’t work…I can’t bake the brownies! 

In my dreams, I have the opportunity to spend a couple of days in the sun, reading to my heart’s content and enjoying time with someone willing to be MY cheerleader for a little bit.   I guess the reality is that life doesn’t work that way right now, so I’ll quit grumbling and put on my happy face again.

I told you it was a major vent!  Now that it’s out there, I think I feel a little better.   Good thing—someone has to cook dinner around here.  :\

PS…I know my family has all sorts of great qualities.  They’re wonderful people.  They are NOT deliberately rude and selfish.  And they do love me.