Sunday, June 20, 2010


WARNING:  Major vent ahead.  Being very real…and very vulnerable here.  Read at your own risk…but please don’t throw stones.

I have come to the conclusion that being a full time at home parent is a thankless, un(der)appreciated job.  No, it hasn’t taken me 21 years to reach this conclusion (I’m slow but not THAT slow).  I’ve just had the lesson hammered home in the last little bit.   Being the primary cheerleader for 7 people is a lot…

Don’t get me wrong—I LOVE staying home with my crew.  It’s just that I can’t remember the last time someone said thank you for clean clothes…or food…or a clean bed to sleep in.  Or at least without a reminder.  I am tired of perpetually moving things that get left where they don’t belong.  I don’t want more STUFF in this house—I am the one who has to clean it and dust it and take care of it.  Apparently I’m so good at what I do that the rest of them are nearly incompetent to handle things on their own.  When I took the little guys to Oceanside to see Brent, I came home to 15 phone messages and 6 days worth of unopened mail.  “We didn’t want to mess with any of it, Mom, so we left it for you.”  Well, that’s just swell, except that some of the phone messages needed to be dealt with while I was gone and any of them could have taken care of it.  Last week when I was in Pullman, I got not one but 2 phone calls letting me know that something smelled bad in the fridge.  “Well, take care of it!” was my ever-so-helpful reply.  But did they?  Nope.  Just reminded me within 10 minutes of my arrival that there was something nasty in there…and that I should find it.   Such a great welcome home for someone with a migraine and upset stomach.  Ugh.

Even my time away in Pullman really wasn’t time away.  I did have the opportunity to do something I wanted to do (take pictures) but I spent the vast majority of my time working on the calendar and coursework for next fall for the little guys (homeschool planning), sorting through math curricula, sifting science options, and finding music and art options appropriate for kindergarten.   I did some hand-holding for my college bound girl, settled squabbles over the phone, and kept everyone reminded of the schedule. 

Although I did have the opportunity to read one book, it wasn’t the refreshing, recharging time I had hoped for.  My reserves are pretty low these days.  Trying to juggle 3 people’s work schedules, speech therapy, camps, summer volleyball, and the everyday stuff of keeping the house running gets old.  Having no oven has been surprisingly draining.  We have hit the end of my 'bake-less’ dinner options, and I’m getting frustrated.  I actually cried today when I realized that brownies and ice cream for dessert wouldn’t work…I can’t bake the brownies! 

In my dreams, I have the opportunity to spend a couple of days in the sun, reading to my heart’s content and enjoying time with someone willing to be MY cheerleader for a little bit.   I guess the reality is that life doesn’t work that way right now, so I’ll quit grumbling and put on my happy face again.

I told you it was a major vent!  Now that it’s out there, I think I feel a little better.   Good thing—someone has to cook dinner around here.  :\

PS…I know my family has all sorts of great qualities.  They’re wonderful people.  They are NOT deliberately rude and selfish.  And they do love me. 


  1. Oh, Jennifer, You are a truly amazing woman full of love and knowledge about everything!!! You have unbounding love for your children and husband. You are a Godly woman, dedicated to doing our Heavenly Father's work. These aren't easy days, but think of it this way: When people are too lazy to find out things for themselves it is so much easier to call you. You always know what to do, and I count myself in the lazy ones. You are AMAZING. Your Dad and I are so proud to be your parents and so very amazed at all you do that we are humbled. Take care, my Dear, this too shall pass. Your children will grow up and move away and you will not even remember this week. We love you!!!

  2. ((((((HUGS)))))) Sorry, sweetie! Want to hide in Ohio? My folks have the entire 2nd floor of their house available AND they both work ALL day so you would be left alone! I promise to cook for YOU and clean up after YOU!


  3. LOL Sam--you're so sweet!! Thanks, but I think that would be a bad idea no matter how appealing it is. Since the sun is shining today I'm a little better. Amazing how much the sunshine (and having everyone outside!) helps. Fresh raspberries and pretty roses help too. :) I've been in my garden...

  4. Oh Jennifer! Just catching up on your blog and yeah, I get what you are saying. I don't have as many children as you, but I do feel many of the same things lately. I've been so overwhelmed that I was in tears several times last week. Too much to do and not enough hours in the day...and all I really want is to do something fun just for ME. Maybe in a few years??? Anyway, glad you seem to be feeling better now. You are an awesome mom, by the way!

  5. My sister in law has a sign in her kitchen that says:

    "I used to think I wanted a career. Now I know that all I really want is a paycheck!"

    I get that. I SO get that!! It would go a long ways...