Sunday, November 1, 2009

really? REALLY??

It's been one of THOSE weekends. You know...the kind where nothing's wrong, but nothing's quite right either. Seems like that's how most of October was, and I must say that I'm a bit disappointed (frustrated? irritated?) to see November starting out this way. But that's life.

Em's volleyball team played fairly well on Saturday, but not well enough to win the district title. That means they play a string of loser-out games to earn a spot to the state tournament. Selfishly, I'd really like this settled as I have some things I need to do and some people to see on a weekend, but I have to HAVE a weekend. All our plans right now are tentative at best, and I hate that. Thursday night will bring more answers, and hopefully some Saturday volleyball! It's hard to see them lose, to know that they could have won, and to know that Em's desire to play at state is still so far out of reach. But that's life.

Brent moved back home last weekend. It's been quite the adventure having a 20 year old living here after 2+ years on his own. It's so nice to have him around and yet there's the constant struggle to recognize him as an adult when to me he's still my first baby. But I'm trying! Add to it his frustration with his car--not running at the moment, and every time he and Jim think they've got it figured out, something else turns up. Trying to coordinate "car schedules" is enough to drive a sane person mad I tell you! But that's life.

Logan starts preschool tomorrow. It's been a tough day for him, filled with disobedience, defiance, and tears. I know much of it's related to the nerves about school and I'm sympathetic. Yesterday I was struggling with feeling inadequate to help my own child; today I'm ready to send him to boarding school! Parenting Logan has been the hardest thing I've ever done and I just have to trust that someday it will be one of the most rewarding as well. Today, though, I just feel like a miserable failure. Someday we'll find the keys to unlock ALL the pieces for this bright sweet child, but in the meantime...... yeah. But that's life.

At this point, I'm ready to just curl up in bed and pull the covers over my head. Unfortunately, that's not an option. So I'll re-choose my attitude and be grateful for the things that are right, grateful for the things that are "learning opportunities," and grateful for those that refine my character. (Yep. Even those things. Ugh.) I'll start tomorrow with a renewed sense of hope. And an early morning run. Those always seem to help.

Hoping to ENJOY life this week,


  1. I hope preschool is going well for Logan.

    Sorry November hasn't kicked off the way you'd hoped. Mine hasn't either. I've got a big case of the blues over Linlee's autism and adoption #2 (which never seems to move forward).

    I really hope we can see you on the 14th.