Thursday, March 15, 2012

so it begins

“Mom, there’s a kiwi in my lunch!  Did you remember to pack me a fork??” he said, with exasperation in his voice.

“Of course” I answered, laughing at his exaggerated tone.  “What do you think I am?  Stupid?” 

Giggles erupted from the back seat.  “No!  Not you, Mom.  You’re not stupid!”  His voice turned somber.  “But moms in China are.”

I took a deep breath.  I hadn’t expected that, and knew I had to tread carefully.  “Tell me what you mean by that.” 

Praying silently for wisdom, I listened as he expressed frustration at his “stupid” China mom who left him when he was a tiny baby.  “What kind of mom does that?  Why would a smart mom leave her baby at a hospital when she knows he needs her? A doctor can’t take care of a baby like a mom can.  Or should.” 

The hurt was evident in his voice.  How to help him see it wasn’t stupidity that led to his abandonment without exposing him to the harsh reality of a culture that values physical perfection?   “Remember the picture we have of you when you were a tiny baby?  The one that shows you with your open lip?”  In the rearview mirror I saw him nod.

Fu Xiaotong

“In China, it takes lots of money to take care of babies with open lips like you had.  We don’t know for sure, but we think probably your China mom and China dad didn’t have enough money to take care of you, to have a doctor fix your lip and your mouth.  And without those being fixed, it’s hard to feed a baby.  So maybe your China mom wasn’t being stupid.  Maybe she was doing the best she could to make sure you got taken care of.  We don’t really know for sure.”

Silence as he pondered that.  “Mom?  If my China mom hadn’t left me, then I wouldn’t live with you, would I?  I wouldn’t have Daddy and Brent and Hailey and Sissy and Tori and Ryan either, would I?”   “Nope.  Probably not.”  “Well…then God must know what He’s doing, because this is a pretty awesome place to live.  Maybe she wasn’t stupid at all.”

Whew.  To see a beginner’s grasp on God’s sovereignty and omnipotence is cool.  To see contentment (for now, anyway) with how things are is amazing.  To know that regardless of what questions are thrown out, God is merciful, and He provides wisdom when it is needed?  Priceless. 


  1. awwwww this post needs to come with a kleenx alert

    1. I wanted an entire box when the exchange was over! And I was driving in the pouring rain...

  2. Jennifer, so beautiful! Not only the story, but also the gift of love, understanding, and honesty you give to your children.

  3. Wonderful! It's good to learn early to see how many circumstances from behind the scenes may affect the behavior we see, and are tempted to judge too quickly.