not a good week

One of the ‘hallmarks’ of Logan’s learning/developmental issues is the back-and-forth nature.  Some weeks are excellent, and he can do and remember lots.  Some weeks are not so good, and we struggle to maintain the level of learning we had worked so hard to accomplish.  And some weeks are like this one, where it feels like I’ve got a 3 year old in the house instead of a 7 year old. 

It’s been tough.  Overwhelmingly difficult.  One of those weeks I’d really rather never repeat.  A week where I am certainly not proud of how I behaved as a parent.  The only positive thing I can say is that yesterday, when I got to the place where I couldn’t take any more without flipping out, I sent him to his room, letting him know that I was too frustrated to deal with him at the moment, and that it would be better for all of us if he spent some time on his bed thinking about what he’d done and how he could have responded to the problem in a more appropriate fashion.   (He was playing on the computer, and somehow managed to reset the user password on not one but 2 accounts on this computer.  This was after he removed a cemented in orthodontic appliance and a few other equally frustrating, equally confounding things.)  Once I took several (many?) deep breaths, I trudged up the stairs and gave him a hug.  Told him I was sorry for yelling, and we went over what to do when you come to something you don’t understand.  Reminded him that asking questions is always okay, and that it’s always better to ask for help when you are using someone else’s things than it is to try and fix it and make the problem worse.  We prayed together, had a good snuggle, then headed back downstairs to finish fixing dinner.  His sunny disposition returned.  And he’s worked hard at controlling his impulses and asking for help.

But we’re seeing evidence of the decline (that we know is temporary) in other things.  His speech has taken a real hit.  At therapy today, many of his sounds were nearly incomprehensible.  The things he blew through last week were nigh unto impossible today.  Such is the way of apraxia.  And some of his learning differences.  We hope that this temporary loss means that his brain is processing other big things and we’ll see a developmental leap in some other area.  In the meantime, I am barely hanging on, waiting for the weekend.  I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to do some tag-team parenting, and some physical labor out of doors.  There are pine needles to rake, and a bed for the sweet peas that needs to be prepared.  There are cars to wash and branches to pick up from the yard.  Fresh air and manual labor do wonders.  For all of us.  And maybe, if Saturday goes well, we’ll find some time to do something fun.  Make ice cream maybe? 

Time to tie an knot and hang on, I guess…

…and rejoice in the words of Lamentations 3

“Because of the Lord’s great love  we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning…  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him…  Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.  For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men...”  (Lam. 3: 22-23, 25, 32-33)