so incredibly out of my league

Today is our IEP meeting with the school district about Logan. I'm frazzled. This is a totally new area for me, with a huge learning curve. Theoretically, Logan should automatically qualify for services based on his hearing loss and his cleft lip/cleft palate. When you add in his "orphanage delays" in gross and fine motor skills, his sensory integration issues, and the possibility of some oral motor planning issues, it should be a slam dunk. So why am I worried??

Part of it comes from the fact that I don't have a real "warm fuzzy" feeling about the Occupational Therapist on our local campus. I like the speech therapist but the OT has rubbed me wrong. She's given very little indication that she understands why Logan might be delayed (you try living with 8 other children exactly your age and see how you develop!) or about why he struggles with being left (again, imagine what it would be like to have a history of being left without warning, then see how long it takes you to trust that those around you will be back when they say). She's bordered on "short" with Logan and in the assessments provided very little positive feedback. Now, don't misunderstand me--I don't for a single instance think that she needs to be Logan's new best friend. But really--please treat him with kindness and respect, and applaud his efforts. They may not be where they should be, or even where she might expect, but he IS trying. And while I know he's capable of more than he did for her, I also know that in many areas what he did was better than I expected.

Another piece is simply logistical. Logan is not the only child here, and I am not all about upending everyone else to accommodate his needs. We need to be able to compromise so that he can get what he needs without sacrificing my time and commitments to the others. I have heard mixed reviews on their willingness to work with families, so it makes me nervous. We'll see.

Then there are the other questions: What is done in speech? Is it group or individual? (Individual is probably better for Logan, given his difficulties.) Do we pursue an assessment for apraxia? Where? With Tina, who we love? Or with the school system? Will they work together well? Will he continue to progress in his gross motor skills if he quits tumbling for preschool? Will they evaluate him for PT for his gross motor delay if he's not doing tumbling? He didn't qualify for PT in the past, but just barely. Quitting the tumbling will likely slow his progress. How do we deal with his hearing loss? Especially in light of the fact that he has another hearing test in 3 weeks? One that may, eventually, get him some hearing aids. Then what?

And then there are biggest, hardest questions of all: How do we convince him that being away from Mom and Ryan 3 days a week is best for him? How do I provide him with the one-on-one time he craves when he's not here part of the day? How do we explain to him that we love him just as much as we love Ryan, when Ryan gets undivided attention every day from Mom and he has to go to school and therapy? It's already a small problem, and Ryan gets just 35 minutes a week with me. While we sit in the corner at speech therapy, watching Logan work with Tina. If that's hard, what would preschool 3 days a week do to him?

So many questions. So few answers. Hopefully, in a few hours, there will be more answers, not more questions.

Helping Daddy is always fun. Especially when you can use the tools!