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“why momma?  why does this have to happen to me…what did i do?”  ~text received last night at 8:55pm

Shortly after 8 last night the phone rang.  I asked Emily to answer as I was sitting in the living room enjoying a lively discussion with our small group.  I heard her say, “Well she’s kinda busy.  It’s small group night.  Is it important?” then heard her push back the chair and head through the kitchen.  Seeing her somber face as she handed me the phone, I knew something wasn’t quite right.  Then she whispered, “It’s your oldest son.”  My heart sank.

Finally, after 4 weeks in Basic Medical waiting for his broken wrist to heal, Brent had been given the ‘all-clear’ to resume training.  He started May 4, anticipating finishing his required 9 weeks of Infantry Training July 9.  This was the final step to complete before being able to have a ‘real’ life again and do things like set a wedding date!  But one thing I’ve learned—phone calls during training are NOT good.  Weekends are okay when they are on liberty, but during the week?  Can’t be good news.  And it wasn’t.  It seems that Brent has hurt his knee.  Possibly quite badly.  He was in tears as we talked.  The pain is intense.  The swelling is huge.  He can’t bend his knee beyond 15°. The heartache is palpable.  The answers are impossible…

The text came after we had cried together, said our goodbyes, and hung up.  How do you answer that question???  With tears in my eyes,  I told him the only things I knew for sure:

“Oh sweetheart.  I can’t answer that.  But God can.  Ask Him.  And I will pray too.  I love you.”

My heart aches for this child of mine.  This Marine Corps thing has been one disaster after another. All he wants to do is FINISH and move on!  A multi-sport athlete (soccer, basketball, and baseball) turned year-round basketball player (with some golf in the spring), he’s NEVER had significant injuries.  The typical jammed fingers from basketball?  Sure.  Even a horribly swollen, purple and blue and green sprained ankle.  But that was a LONG time ago—like 6th grade.  He’s in good shape.  He did well on his military testing.  His PFT (physical fitness testing) scores were good.  He was a leader in his platoon—the first platoon.  Then he became a heat casualty and spent 2 weeks in medical rehab.  When he joined a new platoon to complete basic training, he was again put in a leadership role.  And graduated with a broken wrist.  Reported back after his leave to spend 4 more weeks in Basic Medical.  And now?  He’s back there again. Only this time it could be a VERY long time.  He will have an MRI on Monday May 28 (not Monday as we were originally told).  So we wait.  And pray.  In the meantime, my momma heart wants so desperately to be there, to fix it for him, to take care of him.  And I know his sweet Kayla feels the same way! 

Please, if you think about it, pray for Brent.  Pray for healing.  Pray for encouragement.  Pray for wisdom for the doctors, and for peace for a young man frustrated beyond measure.  Pray for both of us—ALL of us—as we hang on to Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

that we will truly TRUST that God is in control.

~Brent and Kayla after he proposed and she said yes~