successes, surprises, and some sadness

No, we really haven’t fallen off the face of the earth.  I promise.  It’s been a big, busy couple of weeks around here!  The successes have been great fun to witness.  The little guys had their first ever ‘fishing trip’ while we were on vacation, courtesy of big sister Hailey and her young man Alec.  Ryan and Logan think it was a rousing success:

And Ryan’s learned to ride his bicycle.  That’s been great fun.  He LOVED the freedom of riding his bike around the campground.  He thinks riding in the cul-de-sac is pretty awesome too.  :)

And today both boys had their eyes checked, and both of them passed with flying colors!  Such great news, since Logan tends to be on the very edge of what is considered ‘normal’ vision for his age. 

Those were great things.  The surprise came July 18, when we took Logan to see the audiologist.  For months and months—since January at least—I’ve gone back and forth wondering if he’s not hearing as well as he has in the past, or if he had just mastered the fine art of ‘tuning Mom out’ rather early.  Then one day in early June, when it was particularly bad, I picked up the phone and made an appointment for a new hearing test. It felt like grasping at straws, especially since his hearing loss has been completely stable for 4 years.  The results of the hearing test were disheartening at best.  Our little guy with a moderately severe hearing loss has lost a big chunk of what hearing he did have.  No wonder it appeared he was ignoring us or tuning us out.  No wonder he seemed to give random answers to questions.  No wonder cooperation at speech therapy has been hard to come by.  There are lots of unanswered questions, and we have an appointment to see the ENT (ear, nose, throat) doctor in 3 weeks.  The recommendation has been to try hearing aids again, something that Logan finds intriguing.  We still have his hearing aids from our last (failed) attempt, so that part is good.  The hard part is that we can’t get in for a fitting (to have earmolds made and to have the aids programmed) until September 19!!  That’s the earliest available appointment.  Until then, we wait and watch and try to not be frustrated by his seeming lack of response.  Knowing it isn’t intentional helps.

The sadness is mixed with excitement and a sense of adventure.  Next Wednesday, Emily heads back to school for her junior year.  (Where does the time go??)  Then, the weekend after Emily leaves, Tori heads off to college as well.  My baby girl is all grown up.  She and Em will be at school together, so that’s fun.  Getting from here to there will be quite the challenge—the ‘to-do’ list to get them both ready to leave is about a mile long.  And growing.  I know there will be plenty of tears over the next few weeks as they both leave home.  I’m excited to see them spread their wings and fly, but it is bittersweet at best.  For a bit, it looked like it would be just Jim and me and the little boys here this fall, but Hailey got word that she’s been accepted into the program she was hoping to, so she plans on moving home in September.  I’m certain I’m not looking forward to the ‘adventure’ of shifting things around so that we have space for Hailey and her things, but having her live at home will be fun.  She’s a great young lady, and we all enjoy her company.  She’ll be super busy (full time classes + 2 part time jobs!) so I don’t know how much we’ll see her…

Successes.  Surprises.  Sadness.  Amongst all the goings-on of the summer, it is nice to know that none of this surprises God.  HE has it all in control.  I just have the (simple!) job of trusting Him…

?

This pretty much covers it…

I know I’ve been AWOL.  Life has been busy, and now we have the crud here.  Might be a bit before I’m back.  Sorry.

searching for joy in the everyday

Dad and kids…camping, without Mom.  A long time family tradition, this year was a bit longer and a bit farther than most trips.  Instead of 2 nights less than 2 hours from home, it was 5 nights more than 4 hours from home.  I spent 3 days last week shopping and cooking and packing for them, so that while they were on vacation together, they could just enjoy their time and not have to worry about meals or anything.  Just heat up (or finish cooking) what Mom had already prepared and enjoy.  Paper plates?  You bet.  Clean-up made easy.  Anything to simplify life for my crew.

So what did I do while they were gone?  I loved almost every minute of it!  I had the opportunity to spend some time by myself and some time with friends.  I took a long walk down memory lane as I stayed 3 nights in the city where I graduated from high school and where Jim and I were married.  I went up to the church and peeked in the sanctuary.  I wandered around some of the rest of the building.  I met with an old friend to discuss an upcoming reunion/dinner.  I watched water skiers on the lake.  I stayed up late with friends.  I discovered a delicious wine.  :)  And I looked long and hard at why this has been such a difficult year for me.

It’s been hard.  Ugly sometimes.  I have days I don’t want to do this any more.  But it’s not a choice.   Doesn’t matter how I feel.  I have unloaded on a few (un)lucky souls, people who know me  and have my deepest trust.  I know I’ve said things I shouldn’t have.  I know I owe some of them an apology.  But there aren’t words to describe how much I appreciate their willingness to be a sounding board or to just let me vent.  Most often, that’s all it takes.  (I just hope I haven’t destroyed relationships in the process!!)

When my family came back yesterday, I was greeted with hugs and kisses.  And dirty laundry.  While I folded the 5 or 6 loads I washed, I took time to pray for each of them, to thank God for their presence in my life.  In the process, I was reminded that it’s okay if I don’t love every minute of every day.  It’s okay if I enjoy time to myself.  The big thing is that I need to remember to find the joy in the mundane things of life.  My goal for today…next week…next month?  This:

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…”  ~Phil 4:11-12

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”  ~Col 3:23

Sure can’t hurt.  Now, I’m off to see if I need to repair a friendship or two…