Happy Halloween!

Boys? Abandoned? No way!

"How did you get a boy? The Chinese don't give up their boys! Culturally that's just wrong."
"What's wrong with him?"
Or my favorite: "He's not Chinese. He can't be! Where is he REALLY from?"

Those questions and more are asked on a regular basis and quite frankly I'm tired of them! Our boys ARE Chinese, we got boys by asking, and Ryan was a healthy child adoption. Logan has medical needs, yes, but there are many other boys available as healthy children. Sometimes for boys their only special need is a family!

Today marks the 4th anniversary of Ryan's adoption. Later I hope to post more about that, but in the meantime, I wanted to share something else with you. Over the last 4 years I have spent much time thinking and praying for Ryan's birth parents, his "China mommy and China daddy" as we refer to them. We have never presumed to know why Ryan was left on the orphanage steps. He was just over 9 weeks old when he was found. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of walking away from my 9 week old baby, and I suppose that at some level I have simply refused to believe that a mother could do that. Logan was found at 3 days old and the assumption has always been that it was because of his cleft and an inability to care for him, to feed him, to get him the medical help he needed. His province is very poor, with an average per capita income of roughly $1000/year. Reading this very thoughtful piece on abandonment in China, my heart aches. I cannot imagine the heartache and pain of losing a child you love so dearly and yet it appears to happen more often than we like to believe. As Amy (the author) writes, we often give "...simple, one line sentences, to explain a personal life event that is often very complex."

As we celebrate 4 years with Ryan (and spend it watching Emily play volleyball) I would encourage you to read Amy's blog post. It will open your eyes. It accurately reflects what I witnessed first-hand in Honduras almost 6 years ago. You will view the world--and my children!--differently, perhaps with less judgment. Just make sure you have tissues handy!

A Life of Giving: Abandonment

Just checking...

I finally figured out how to add a fancy signature to my blog--I'm a slow learner!--and decided to make sure it really works. Pay no attention to me... :)

imponderables

Some of the questions that went through my mind this morning while I was out running. It became very obvious I was preoccupied when I got home and realized I hadn't even noticed how many cars were parked along the side of the street!

*Why are people shopping NOW like it's the week before Christmas? Every time I go to Costco it's packed. And I'm there lots. It's almost my second home.....
*Why is every shopper at Costco about 150 years old?
*Why do they move slower than molasses in January while they shop?
*Why is it that no matter how much money I spend on groceries (plenty!), my children always gripe that "there's nothing to eat?"
*Why do I agree with them??
*Why are my days so busy?
*Why, if I am an at home mom, am I never at home?
*Why am I both glad and sad that Victoria is done with volleyball for the season?
*Why am I not looking forward to the end of Emily's season?
*Why does it feel like every time I make plans, something comes along that means those plans must change?
*Why the possibility of a long business trip now, with the state tournament for volleyball, the start of basketball and cheer, Thanksgiving, and Brent's departure for the Marines coming up? All would be missed.
*Why do we have to be in limbo waiting to know if the trip will happen or not?

And probably the biggest question of them all....

*Why don't moms get sick days???
(No, I"m not that sick. Yet. Fortunately, it's just a cold. Boy would I LOVE a day to stay in my jammies, watch movies and read, and have someone take care of me, serve me hot drinks and anything I want to eat! But moms don't have that option.)

a victory

I was in a bit of a hurry yesterday afternoon. Putting the last of the sandwiches in lunchboxes and bags for volleyball, I set them aside and grabbed the washcloth to wipe down the sticky counter. When I was done I rinsed the rag and dried my hands on the dish towel. Apparently, though, they weren't all the way dry. When I patted Logan on the head as he walked through the room, he stopped, turned, and looked at me. After a moment, he said (with indignation in his voice and a smile on his face)

"Momma! I am NOT a dish towel!"

A full spontaneous sentence. All the sounds in place. All the words as words, not syllables. A thought that was ENTIRELY his own. And with a sense of humor to boot! Wow!

I think we just scored.

one out...and one back in

Brent moved back home today. It's been exactly one month since we moved Hailey out. He moved more stuff IN than she moved OUT--somehow that doesn't seem like a great plan in a house that is already a bit cozy. We're back to 7 living here, but now the girls are outnumbered by the boys. He'll be here until the end of November...and this mom will love every minute of it!

freshly bathed...

and shaved. Today was haircut day, so the boys are looking quite slick with their new short hair. For fun, they goofed off after their bath and had silly pics taken with Hailey, home for the weekend from UW.

schizophrenia

Today I decided that I must be schizophrenic. I was vacuuming the house, muttering under my breath about the number of toys all over the floor. And it occurred to me--I will miss this! I'll miss the toys, because they mean small children live and love and grow here. So I started thinking about the future, and this is what I came up with:

Things I am looking forward to:

*No more toys lying around the house
*Freedom to come and go during the day without hauling 2 little boys in carseats
*Bathrooms (and a house!)that stay clean for more than 20 minutes
*Not having so much "help" with the everyday chores of life
*A smaller grocery bill and less dinner to fix every night
*Quiet
*Less laundry
*Less demands on my time
*A full night's sleep

Things I'm not looking forward to:

*No more toys lying around the house. The time I spend playing with them is priceless and creates such great memories!
*Lots of time on my hands
*Bathrooms with nothing but a clean towel on the counter
*No one to help with chores
*Fixing dinner for 2 (it's HARD after 20-some years of cooking for 6+)
*No 'discussions' between siblings, no long conversations with teens, and too much quiet!
*Missing middle-of-the-night snuggles with my little guy. Nothing quite like drowsy kisses, snuggly hugs, and whispered "I love you"


Last night at our small group, I was in the kitchen holding darling Caeden, the 5 week old baby of one of the couples in the group. One of the men came in and teased me, saying that we needed to find me a 12 step recovery group for baby holding! I laughed, but it's true. I will ALWAYS volunteer to take the baby. I miss those days so much! My guys grew up too fast.

Someone recently asked me if we'd ever adopt again. You know what? If someone wanted to cover the costs, I'd be all over it! Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I have been tested physically, mentally, and emotionally with the latest addition. But my heart still aches to know that there are children with no one to love them, no one to hold them, no one to kiss their owies or tuck them in at night. I know I can't "save" them all. But we are so blessed here and we live with such abundance. It's hard not to want to share with those children. Unfortunately, I don't expect that it will happen again for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that I know Jim isn't interested. I understand that and respect his decision.

So now, this schizophrenic is off to fix dinner for the masses before driving people several different directions. But when I'm done, I may just find myself a cup of cocoa and a good book. Maybe even read it at the bookstore!! That's pretty close to heaven if you ask me....

not so funny any more

After having a 10 pound bag of flour come open in the trunk of Emily's car today, I'm pretty much ready to chuck it all and run for the hills.

I think it's okay for me to drive, but I'm not sure. After the last 36 hours, I have my reservations about getting behind the wheel of a car!! :) Anybody want some company for a while? I promise I'll just sit quietly and not touch anything...

UGH.

birthday pics

Sorry some of these are so dark! Given the way the day has gone, I'm not even surprised...