Another journey...

hope

2012-02-02T14:04:00.001-08:00

“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”

~Ps 31:24

(The basketball hoop, from the snow and ice storm January 19. We ended up with 5” of snow covered with 1” of ice, then topped with another 1” of snow. Gorgeous but dangerous.)

It’s been a long week. I think I’m glad we’re finally to the end, quite frankly. If it were up to me, we’d cancel the rest of today and tomorrow and move straight into Saturday.

Last weekend was crazy busy. Sick people (read that an adult male) at home. Last home basketball game of the season, with the concomitant responsibilities (concession stand food, senior night activities, post game clean up). Winter storm clean up. Baby shower. Wedding. Anticipation of a meeting with the neuropsychology team at Children’s on Monday. Sunday night, it all blew up. I came home from the wedding with a killer migraine and promptly fell asleep on the sofa. I’m sure the migraine and resulting nausea were stress induced. Monday wasn’t much better—speech therapy and school for the little guys while battling a migraine isn’t fun. We survived. After lunch, I dropped the dynamic duo off with their big sister, met up with Jim, and headed to the hospital to discuss the results of the testing.

I am SO glad we did this!! I was incredibly nervous going into Monday afternoon’s meeting. Although I knew for sure that we would learn some things, I had this irrational fear that we would be told either a) he’s totally normal and everything is all in your heads; or b) this is as good as it’s ever going to get and you’d better figure out how you’re going to handle having him live with you for the rest of your lives because he’s never going to be able to learn. Neither, of course, is true.

Instead, the afternoon meeting was filled with laughter, good news, and great news. The good news is that neither of the extremes I feared is remotely close to true. He has some fairly significant learning issues, but they can be overcome. We also learned something totally fascinating! Kids with craniofacial issues like cleft lip and cleft palate often have brain differences too. Those systems all form at the same time. The issue? Some of the brain development is delayed, and it can be as much as 2 years delayed. (That explains our concern about a 4 or 5 year old in a 7 year old’s body!) Craniofacial kids will be neurologically delayed by about 2 years for much of their formative life, catching up somewhere around age 23-25 because of the brain’s neuroplasticity (ability to adapt). Amazing! The great news? Although the doctor is not a proponent of home education, she’s all for it in his case. When we did the pre-assessment interview, I outlined my concerns for her and shared my observations. On testing day, I filled out 4 questionnaires and had a long conversation with the doctor. He performed nearly 100% to what I had reported, seen, and observed! That’s almost unheard of. She was so surprised to have a parent that ‘in tune’ with their child!! Umm….hello??? We are TOGETHER roughly 16 hours/day every single day. I see how he learns…or doesn’t. She was impressed with our curriculum selections for him…almost all exactly what he needs: hands-on, mastery based math. Reading based science/history/language arts. Multi-sensory phonics instruction. We’ve got it covered, even before knowing what the issues are.

I wish I could say everything is now just peachy. It’s not. And, quite frankly, I expect a bumpy road for many years. But we have a much better handle on what to expect and on how to help him learn. The doctor wants him reevaluated next January, so we’ve got some things to accomplish! It is my fervent hope we can go in next winter and show her just what a homeschooled student can do. I don’t anticipate that he’ll be able to read fluently, but that’s okay. Keeping his ‘brain age’ in mind, I’m going to hide away some weekend soon and set some goals for him. I know he’s capable of more than we’re doing now…it’s more a matter of adjusting things here so that we have the right mix of lessons and reinforcement to see success. Knowing that we’re doing the right thing for him helps on the tough days. Keeping the big picture in mind, we move forward!

With renewed hope…

“For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

an award!! :)

2012-01-24T16:06:00.001-08:00

Oh wow! My friend Anne at Strawberry Monkey Files gave me my first ever blog award. :) Anne writes about her adventures of a homeschooling mom, her crafting, and just life in general. We love to watch her Rachel grow, and of course it helps that at our house Rachel is a very favorite playmate! Sadly, playdates with Rachel and her beautiful mom Anne are few and far between…

Anyway, the Liebster Award is for blogs with less than 200 followers (yes, I definitely qualify!). It is given with the hope that the blog will continue to grow and find more friends and followers. "Liebster" is a German word that means "dearest" or "beloved" and also can mean "favorite."

So, the idea is to bring attention to your favorite blogs with less than 200 followers. Since I received this award, I now get to pass it on to five of my own favorite bloggers. I hope that you will check them out -

Here are the rules for Liebster Award recipients:

You can thank the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
Reveal your five picks for the award and let them know.
Post the award on your blog. (You can save the image from this post and the upload it to your blog).
Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Blogshare - other bloggers.
Finally, have FUN and enjoy spreading the love! :)

And here are my five picks for the Liebster Award:

Amanda, at …”Brackish and Incandescent”…
Elaine, at Friday is Pizza, Monday is Soup
Kelli, at Waiting for Sprout…and now for XiaoMei
Jana, at From Jesus’ Lips to My Ear
Kari, at Keeping up with the Colleges
Laura, at Whimsical-Beauty

Okay, so I clearly can’t count! I couldn’t leave just one of these favorites off…as a matter of fact, I could probably add another dozen or so to my list! But we’ll stop here for now…

Enjoy some blog-hopping this rainy afternoon.

a fallen hero

2012-01-20T16:48:00.001-08:00

It’s always interesting to see how God connects people. In January 2010, Brent was sitting in medical at USMC boot camp, waiting to be ‘dropped’ into a new company to finish his training. I wasn’t sure what to expect—I’d made some good friends with the moms of Delta Company, and having to shift to a new group (already well established, I might add) is never my favorite thing to do. But God always provides, sometimes in interesting ways. :) One of the Mike Company moms was friends with an east coast homeschooling friend of mine. Dorothy ‘introduced’ us, and we became Marine Mom friends. I met Phyllis briefly at Brent’s graduation from boot camp…she was there watching her 2nd Marine finish. It was so nice to have an ‘experienced’ mom to encourage me! She was always willing to listen, to answer questions, to share her wisdom and her love. Her zest for life is contagious! (We’ve continued to stay in touch, even though Brent is no longer active duty. Once a MoM (Mom of a Marine), always a MoM!) She understood it all, having been there before with her firstborn, as well as going through it with her 2nd and waiting for her 3rd to head off to boot camp. Yes, Phyllis has 3 Marines. Her husband is retired Air Force, so she understands military life. And it’s risks.

Wednesday night Phyllis, her husband Dave, their other children, and their daughter in law Sarah received the news noone ever wants to get. Corporal Philip McGeath, deployed to Afghanistan and due home in just 2 weeks, was killed in action by a suicide bomber. My heart breaks for this family. So dedicated to service, they are paying the ultimate price. And there’s no way to help alleviate the pain for them. Anything I can say feels so much like a platitude. I can’t begin to understand the depth of their pain…I can only imagine. It takes me to places I never want to go, especially knowing my own son is likely reenlisting.

Today, Phyllis, Dave, and their children flew to Dover AFB to receive Philip’s body and bring it home. There will be a service on Saturday January 28 in Arlington, TX. With all my heart I wish I could be there.

Rest in peace, Philip. Your courage and service to this country will not be forgotten. Your sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. Your family will not be alone through this—they will be held up by the prayers of those who love them.

Philip McGeath and his mom, Phyllis

Philip and Sarah, July 2010.

:)

2012-01-18T11:06:00.001-08:00

Wow! I can actually do an (almost) wordless Wednesday post!! Snow days in Seattle are ALWAYS treasured…

Playing in the backyard…

…and some ‘snow soccer’ in the front…

Two things I’ve learned (relearned??) today:

Snow boots are useless if they aren’t ‘taller’ (come up higher on the leg) than the depth of the snow
Having someone trying to telecommute in the main family living space with 6 or 7 other people just doing daily life in the house doesn’t work well.

Enjoy your Wednesday! We certainly are.

when others hurt

2012-01-11T22:45:00.001-08:00

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ~Romans 12:15

Rejoice with those who rejoice? No problem! Every one loves a celebration. :) Why is it we have such a hard time weeping with those who weep? I’ve seen this time and again, and it has hit home once more this week.

For whatever reason, there has been lots of weeping around me in the last few weeks. Friends with cancer. Sweet young moms of little ones in my class losing babies. Babies born with Down Syndrome. Babies due this spring with complex issues. Preemies with complications. Complicated pregnancies. Surgeries with unexpectedly difficult recoveries. Here, there have been many tears.

I was struck this week as I talked on the phone with one friend. She and her husband received some difficult news late last week. As we talked (and cried!) together on the phone, she said something that absolutely broke my heart. She said that an email had been sent to a group of friends, sharing the news, and that she’d only heard back from 2 people. Only 2 people cared enough to take a minute and let her know they cared! That hurt her nearly as much as the devastating news.

When did we allow our hearts to become hardened to the hurt around us? Why can’t we be the kind of friends that are needed? Why can’t we take 60 seconds to send a note that says “I’m SO sorry! Please know that I care.”? Why can’t we pick up the phone and ask what we can do to help? Sure, sometimes we don’t know what to say. Yes, there’s that fear that we’ll say the wrong thing. But I’ve learned for sure this winter that if we choose to say nothing, we are DEFINITELY saying the wrong thing! That kind of rejection, that kind of hurt—it is HARD. It lasts. I certainly don’t know what to say all the time. I put my foot in my mouth on a regular basis. You know what? When you are willing to confess that you simply don’t know what to say, that you care about them and what’s going on—you can’t go wrong. I told my sweet friend yesterday that I knew I would say the wrong things before her situation was resolved. I asked her to be patient with me, to let me know if I hurt her, and to know that while I will likely say things that hurt, I would never do it on purpose. Only with her help can I learn, so I don’t make the same mistake in the future.

There’s very little I can do to ‘help’ my friend who is hurting. But I can call or email to let her know I’m thinking of her. I can fix a meal. I can be available if or when she needs someone to listen. I can go and just sit beside her so she doesn’t have to be alone. I can invite her children over for a time, or I can ask her to join me for a cup of coffee. It doesn’t have to be big or difficult. It just has to be honest and sincere. From the heart.

After all, if we’re going to rejoice with those who rejoice, we’d better be willing to weep with those who weep. Jesus did. How can we do any less?

Katie

2012-01-11T22:44:00.001-08:00

Warrior (noun): A person who shows great courage…

example? Katie Collier

This girl is amazing! She fights the good fight. She is faith, commitment, and tenacity personified. Not many of us would do (would be able to do!) what she’s doing: school, chemotherapy, and then a basketball game. All on the same day. For Katie, it’s simply what happens. Day in and day out she goes forward, rarely complaining, always encouraging those around her. Even when she doesn’t feel good, she’s got a smile, a hug, a kind word for those in her world. She is one of the most genuine, sweetest, kindest 18 year olds I have ever known. It is a privilege to know her, and to be able to say that we have been friends with her family for more than 20 years. They are amazing people—all of them.

This video from last night’s basketball game once again shows Katie at her finest. Let her warrior spirit encourage you!

not my finest moment

2012-01-04T21:11:00.001-08:00

My alter ego ‘Grace’ made an appearance today.

It rained hard this afternoon, and when we got home from Costco there were groceries in the back of the Suburban that needed to come in the house. Parked in its normal spot on the side of the driveway, the back doors open up at a small, grassy slope. No sweat. Except that today it’s muddy. And slick. With an armload of groceries, I slipped and went sliding through the mud, slamming my knee into the rocks and smacking my elbow on the back bumper. There was mud down my back from my shoulders to my ankles. My right knee is bloody and sore and swollen. My left elbow is bloody and sore. And my right ankle is muddy (still!), slightly swollen, and sore. In short, I’m a bit of a mess. It hurts to stand. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. And this is after taking Aleve. Somehow, I suspect I’m going to be even more sore tomorrow. Oh joy. I guess it’s a good thing the day is mostly free.

You know, I haven’t missed seeing ‘Grace.’ She certainly wasn’t invited, and she doesn’t need to stick around…

things I love

2011-12-18T15:32:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the grey dreary days of winter threaten to get the best of me. Today would be one of those days, and being exhausted from a string of bad nights with my little one and fighting a stuffy nose and sore throat aren’t helping much. Instead of focusing on all the things that aren’t ‘right’ in my world at the moment, I decided to make a list of things I love.

In no particular order…

These faces:

And, of course, the older ones too (of whom there are no current pictures…yet). They bring unbelievable joy to our home!

Sunset, as seen from the bow of the ferry in mid-December:

If you know me, you know that one of my all-time favorite things to do is ride the ferry. No matter the season or weather, I’m outside standing in the bow, enjoying the view and the wind in my face. This particular ride was about a week ago at sunset; the return trip was about 8:45 at night. It was COLD but amazingly gorgeous standing out in the bow…

Mint brownies:

This nativity set, made and hand-painted many years ago for us by my brother in law and his wife:

And the things without pictures:

My big guys home for the holidays, whether it’s for 3 weeks (like Emily) or 3 days (like Brent). Hey…I’ll take what I can get!!
New friends. We had a great time hosting some new friends for playtime and lunch on Thursday. Can’t wait to have them over again! And the other new friends God has brought us…SO special! It’s fun to be at the beginning of these new relationships, looking ahead to good times.
Old friends. The shared memories. The laughter. The tears. The tenderness and the ability to pick up where we left off, no matter how long it’s been since we were together last. These are people I cherish…and never see often enough! I was SO blessed by an old friend recently—I got a gift certificate for some time at a spa for my birthday. What a treat!
Friendships that are neither new (less than 1 year) or old (more than 10+ years). Although there’s not the excitement of a new friendship or the shared memories of the long time friends, there is the joy of the journey and the hope of a shared future.
An incredible small group. We laugh together, cry together, and are challenged together. They are a great group of people, and it’s a privilege to be part of their lives.
My parents. In a word, they’re awesome! They live close enough to be part of our world regularly, and we see them often. Everyone is looking forward to Christmas this year with Grandma and Grandpa. :)
The joy of adoption, and the depth of understanding about my worth to God it has brought.
The challenges of adoption and parenting a special needs child. Some days it’s tear-your-hair-out frustrating, but the rewards rank right up there with slobbery kisses and sticky hugs. And the side benefit? Refining our character. (Or maybe that’s the primary goal!)

So that’s a start. The list is by no means complete, but the blue funk that had captured me this afternoon is definitely gone. (Now, if the sinus headache would move on, the afternoon would be pretty close to perfect.) The hot cider is waiting, and I hear Ryan playing backgammon with Daddy in the background. The girls are off finishing their Christmas shopping, and Logan is watching a Christmas movie. I’m off to enjoy a quiet Sunday afternoon with my crew.

How about you? What are the things YOU love? Is it time to put them on paper and beat the dreary grey hanging around?

priorities

2011-12-16T09:47:00.001-08:00

This picture has haunts me. Before 2004 (when I spent some time in Honduras working with orphans and feeding centers in the slums), it probably wouldn’t have affected me as much. Seeing poverty—the kind that makes a woman walk away from her 1 year old baby, never to return, so that he can have food to eat—will change your perspective. Seeing people live in cardboard-and-blue-tarp tents in highway medians will change your perspective. Seeing crib after crib after crib lined up, with small children starved for food and attention will change your perspective. Seeing your own child in the poverty of a Chinese orphanage will change your perspective. And with changed perspective comes changed ways of living.

We’ve never been huge Christmas gift givers. It’s always been a ‘3 gift’ thing here: a toy or book, an article of clothing, and something either needed or wanted (depending on the circumstances). Stockings are typically filled with fun treats but minimal as well: an orange, some gum, a toothbrush, a small treat like double-stick tape or band-aids, and a box of favorite cold cereal. Our children don’t really NEED anything. As we have had to redefine necessity here, our children, who have had the privilege of seeing poverty and its effects up close and personal, have also shifted their priorities.

This year, I’ve been re-thinking. Again. Last night at small group we had a conversation about the things that make us ‘angry’. Not things like being cut off in traffic, although that sure makes us angry. :) Instead, we were talking about things like homelessness and orphans and foster parents who don’t provide for their foster kids but are only in it for the money. We talked about how ineffective it can feel to be just one small contributor to solving the problems. But we also talked about how important each person is, each contribution is. Only as a team can we make a difference! We started exploring ways we can make a difference. And we talked about priorities. How to adjust. WHERE to adjust. How it will affect our children. Why it’s important.

It was a good discussion. As I look at our tree, I know that we’re making progress. We still have a long ways to go, perhaps, but our priorities are getting better. Seeing our grown and nearly grown children ‘get’ this is amazing. They are wise beyond their years sometimes. But seeing how 98%+ of the world lives will do that to you. They are fortunate—they’ve witnessed it. And the difference that getting involved can make. This year we’ve cut back again. Next year? We’ll take it another step. What will that look like? I’m not sure…but we’ve got a year to figure out how to make a small difference in the things that make us ‘angry’. That’s a start. Our time and money and energy at Christmas may go that direction. We’ll see.

Getting real with one another…just in time for Christmas. Gives hope for the new year!

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Rom 12:9-21

amazing…amazing…amazing

2011-12-09T10:13:00.001-08:00

Check this out! God is SO GOOD…our sweet friend Katie Collier (whose story is here and here and here) will be playing basketball tonight. You can read today’s blurb in the newspaper here.

SO looking forward to tonight! It doesn’t hurt that it’s an away game, and we get to ride the ferry. :)

Katie and Tori after the game. Kate was the leading scorer for the Warriors last night. That’s pretty normal for her when she’s healthy but incredibly impressive under the circumstances.

big day today

2011-12-05T07:19:00.001-08:00

Today’s the first day of our neuro-psych (cognitive and learning issues) evaluations for our Logan. It’s a phone appointment about how he learns and other concerns we have. I think I’m nervous…not specifically about the appointment, but that I can correctly describe the issues we see, and that I don’t forget anything important!! You should see the white board on my fridge…
This appointment today will help determine the testing they do in person next week. If you feel inclined, please pray for wisdom and clarity as I spend time on the phone with the doctor this morning. I’d appreciate it, and Logan will benefit from it! Thanks. :)

*********
Update: Phone appointment was amazing!! Thanks for the prayers...the dr. has some great ideas for what tests need to be run, and she thinks we'll get some answers when we do them.

And another update! The testing next week has had to be rescheduled for the first week in January. I knew it was a possibility, and it's happened. So now we wait a bit, but at least he's still on the schedule.

a red letter day!

2011-11-30T15:37:00.001-08:00

Today, the 1st grader who struggles tremendously with school had an awesome day! We sat down to work on phonics and math, and he completed every problem on his own. AND he got them mostly correct!! (He does occupational therapy for his fine motor skills, so we do lots of ‘dictation/transcription’ here. But, on the phonics sheets, he has to copy over the yellow pen. It’s a real challenge for him. By the end of the math sheet, he was struggling with number formation—and the blanks for counting by 5s are tiny!—so I wrote for him.)

Check out his incredible work!! Sorry the math is hard to read. It didn’t scan as well as I had hoped. Combined with his weak handwriting, it’s a bit hard to read.

If only it was possible to convey how huge this is!! To have a day without tears, without tantrums, without anger and frustration, and with almost all the correct answers is unbelievable. Makes me think that maybe someday we’ll even get there. God is good—we both needed this! :)

success

2011-11-26T10:23:00.001-08:00

It was only a 5K. But I finished. And I wasn’t last…not even in my age group. :) For uncoordinated, non-athletic me, often called “Grace” because of my klutziness, it is an accomplishment. This may help clarify why finishing means so much. (No paying to see…but no one came to watch, either.)

Enjoy your Saturday!

2011-11-25T22:07:00.001-08:00

This

is a graphic representation of the number of interpersonal relationships in a group of 8 people (like our family). If you don’t want to count all the lines, 8 people have a total of 28 interpersonal relationships. :)

It also explains why, as much as I love holidays with family, I come home tired. It’s not from working hard physically; instead, it is from the ‘work’ associated with all of the interpersonal relationships that come with 22 people. That’s 231 different relationships!!

Fortunately, these are wonderful people, and it was a delightful Thanksgiving. We loved every minute of our time with them and were sad to leave this afternoon. But it’s good to be home, and our (very tired!) boys were quite thrilled to see their own beds tonight. Hopefully they’ll sleep well. I know I will!

Enjoy the rest of this holiday weekend!

crazy days and a thankful heart

2011-11-21T22:56:00.001-08:00

Mercy! I am not quite sure what happened the last few days, but I’m not in a hurry to repeat most of it. Some of it was fun—baking desserts for Thanksgiving, for example. The pumpkin pie, the raisin pie, the 7 layer bars and the fudge are in the freezer ready to go. The Rice Krispy treats, the silk chocolate pies, and the apple crisp will be made on Wednesday. The shopping list for the salad is ready and the shopping will be done on Wednesday too. The packing list is on the white board and the first items have been set out, ready for a quick Thanksgiving visit with family. But some of it has been not so fun. I don’t enjoy watching my smallest boy deal with recurring nightmares night after night. We’re in an especially bad spell again, and I’ve been up for hours and hours in the middle of the night the last several days. (Makes for one exhausted mom!!) People have been on edge…perhaps due to the grey weather. Or the lack of sleep. Tempers have flared and cross words have been spoken. And injuries! Oy. Nothing serious, but the last few days have included several burnt fingers, a skinned knee or two, and a significant knock on the noggin. Fortunately (?) they’ve been evenly distributed, and only the goose egg is mine. Ought to be some truly lovely shades of yellow and green for Thanksgiving. Sounds mighty attractive! :\

Then, this morning, I came downstairs to find that sometime in the night our computer died. Talk about irritating! It turned out to be a fun adventure though, as it occurred to me that I might know the problem. I followed my hunch, took the computer apart, went out and bought a replacement part, put it back in, and voila! The computer works again. YAY!! Once in a while, it all comes together. :) It feels great to solve a problem…and to do it on something most people find intimidating. And to do it for less than $50!! I just figured if it was truly dead, I couldn’t make it any worse…

Tomorrow is an all new adventure. Logan starts his first round of neuro testing. Tomorrow will be developmental, looking at physical skills and overall development. Then, next month, he will do some intense learning assessments, trying to figure out WHY the 7 year old can’t get past 3 or 3 1/2 developmentally. In any area. It’s frustrating, but we are hoping and praying that the hours of testing will give us something useful. We’d LOVE to know where to set the bar, how hard to push, what we need to adjust to make this work!

Even as the days are crazy and busy, we want to make sure that Thanksgiving is not only celebrated but understood and enjoyed. It’s hard to cultivate an ‘attitude of gratitude,’ especially when things seem to go wrong—or at least ‘not right’—at every turn. So, for school this month, the little guys are working on a section of memory verses. My favorite, and the one we are focusing on now is

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name.
⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations. ~Psalm 100

Right now, I’m thankful for a working computer. For a dry warm place to live, and plenty of food to eat. For peace and quiet, and sleeping children. For family and friends. For the opportunity to serve those around me. For a God who loves me (even though I don’t deserve it!), and His gift of salvation. What are you thankful for?

the football fanatic

2011-11-13T14:15:00.001-08:00

Ryan’s pretty tiny for almost 7. Fully dressed (and just fed!) he weighs in at a whopping 42 pounds…but the kid’s pretty mighty in ability. He loves football. I mean…he LOVES football. He lives for the weekend, when he can watch game after game on Saturday AND Sunday. But he doesn’t just watch—he knows the teams and remembers what happens, too. Last night we were watching the UO/Stanford game (numbers 7 and 4 respectively in the college polls) and someone asked who was ranked #1. He promptly—and correctly—listed the top 5 teams in the current BCS rankings.

While he watches football, he runs ‘plays’ in the living room. Jim passes the football and Ryan practices his running catch. He’s pretty good and only misses about 15% of the passes. He’s clearly mastered the fine art of' ‘bobble/catch/fall/slide’ in our fairly limited space. He would play like this all day if someone would pass to him. And outside? Absolutely! He LOVES to play football with anyone who will throw for him. But the thing that blew my mind today? Listening to him.

He was watching the New Orleans/Atlanta game. It was close to the end, and someone had just scored. (I clearly wasn’t paying attention. Actually, I had been napping—HORRIBLE night here last night—and was only semi-awake.) The game was nearly over, and I hear Ryan say “What are they doing? If they want to win this game they need to do an onside kick!” He no more than got the words out of his mouth than the broadcasters started a debate about what the team should do next. Their conclusion? An onside kick was the team’s best chance of winning. Huh? How on earth does my 6 year old know this??

So my tiny guy has football dreams. Big ones. He wants to play professional ball, then be a coach. Pretty ambitious for a child in the 10th percentile for height and weight. Maybe Mom can offer a bit of encouragement, though. I was fortunate to go to high school with a football player who wasn’t the biggest guy on the team. He was pretty good, too—spent 8 years playing professional ball. :) Someday, I might just have to introduce him to Ryan. Maybe he’ll have some good tips for my dinky little dreamer.

The simple things are free

2011-11-07T20:00:00.001-08:00

How I love the simple things…the simple things just are. (Jim Brickman, Simple Things)

Life is complicated. Sometimes it just is complicated; sometimes we make it that way ourselves. Regardless, I am convinced that we don’t take enough time to sit back and really truly enjoy the simple things in life. I got to spend a weekend doing just that…enjoying the simple things. What did it look like?

Reading books to my heart’s content. Not just any books, but books for FUN. No books about learning issues. No books about teaching children with to read. No books about hearing loss or apraxia or sensory integration issues or economics or worldviews or anatomy and physiology. Just plain old fiction books, chosen solely for entertainment and enjoyment. Ahhhhh…a simple pleasure.
Long walks in crisp sunny fall weather. The trees were beautiful. The sun was shining. The sky was blue. The mountains were visible. God’s creation is breathtaking! Enjoying walks in the sun was another simple pleasure of the weekend.
Bubble bath (without interruptions!). Never EVER underestimate the simple pleasure of a hot tub filled with bubbles. ‘Nough said.
Being able to sleep (or lounge in bed!) until you feel ready to get up and face the day. Even if it’s a day filled with things you like. Sometimes the lack of impending projects and deadlines is refreshing. I loved spending a weekend on my own time schedule…no commitments, no obligations.
Wandering the fabric store or the book store solely for the enjoyment of it. Looking at fabrics and picking out just the right ones for a project taking shape in my mind. Alone. :) So simple, and yet so enjoyable. And now I have a nice stack of pretty blue and green fabrics on my desk, waiting to make that pattern in my mind a reality.
Making a spur of the moment decision to take in a concert. And relishing every single moment of the experience. Not regretting for an instant that I was there but instead loving the incredibly talented piano player and his music. Music that feeds my soul….a treasure.
Enjoying some time to catch up with an old friend. Never an easy task, with our busy lives it seems to get more difficult as time goes on. We’re both committed to other things, other projects. And yet, when we can spare a few minutes to sit down and catch up, it’s priceless. I wish it could happen more often than once or twice a year, but so far that’s not possible. It’s not about finding good coffee (which I don’t even drink!) or going out to eat…just sitting down to talk on a park bench works. I treasure those times together. And we both agree—we need to make it a higher priority. In the meantime, we catch what we can and enjoy the simplicity of uncomplicated, long-time friendship.

It was an incredibly refreshing weekend. Never long enough, of course, and yet when I came home I felt ready to face the world again. I love the opportunity to step back from the busy, crazy, wonderfully fun life at home and just take a deep breath. Relax a bit. Feed my soul. Focus on the blessings in life. Enjoy the simple things…sunshine, music, creativity, good books, good friends. Makes me remember just how grateful I am for the life I have been given. I am truly blessed.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~James 1:17

striking a balance

2011-11-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

Several times in the last 8 weeks, Jim and I have been on a parenting panel of ‘experienced’ (read that OLD!) parents answering questions for the young families at church. We’ve participated in panels on Parent/Child Relationships, Transitions, and Education Choices, including a discussion of parenting special needs children. It’s been great fun, and we’ve had the opportunity to spend some time reviewing and refining our own parenting practices. Each week, before the panel discussion, we receive a list of questions that will be asked. Not all of them come up, but we try to prepare answers for all so that we don’t look like idiots. :)

The first week, on Parent/Child Relationships, there was one question that didn’t get asked, and I wish it had. The question was

How do you strike a balance between rules and relationship?

It’s a great question. But it wasn’t asked. I’ve spent lots of time thinking about this question over the last 6 weeks. And I think it needs to be addressed. The question assumes that RULES and RELATIONSHIPS are in conflict! They’re not…at least at our house. That’s because at our house there really aren’t rules. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. Rules are generally a set of ‘do’s and don’ts’ for behavior. If you think about it much, you know that most rules are ‘don’ts’ guiding behavior. Instead of rules, we have a set of foundational principles guiding behavior. Why is that different? Because it is not a set of do’s and don’ts. So…what do they look like? This:

Honor and obey God with our words and actions
Treat others with kindness, honor, love, and respect
Watch our words
Work for God
Be a good steward

Each of these principles has a Biblical basis, meaning we can support the principle with scriptures. (I have a long list of references for each principle. If you’re interested, let me know. We gladly share!)Having expected standards of behavior is so much simpler than having rules! Why? Well, think about this:

You have a rule in your house that you don’t run in church. But tonight is AWANA, and it’s held at church. It’s your child’s first time attending, and there’s a games portion of the evening. One of the games they play is 'Duck Duck Goose, which requires running. Your child is put in an awkward position—play the game and break the family’s rule about running in church, or choose to obey by sitting out and miss the fun.

Clearly, that’s a very simple problem, but it illustrates well how having foundational principles can be so much simpler. How? Well, at our house there’s no rule against running in church. When our guys have tried it, we’ve talked about whether or not that action is showing respect to those around us. If not, then we choose to honor them by refraining from the behavior. So, if we’re in the gym at a business meeting, running is inappropriate—it’s not showing honor and respect for others. If we’re at AWANA during game time, then go for it! Running is completely acceptable.

Using principles like those above allows parents to equip their children’s decision making tool box with appropriate filters for making good decisions about their actions. That’s the goal of rules, too, but they seldom work that way because there’s no development of internal controls. Equipping children to make decisions, allowing them to do so, then talking about the results of those decisions develops maturity. Works well. The bonus is that there’s no sacrifice of relationship in the ‘foundational principles’ model, since the principles apply to all in the home.

Developing maturity. Strengthening relationships. Equipping children to make decisions. Isn’t that what parenting is supposed to be?

Please Mrs. First Lady, may I be the parent in my home?

2011-10-31T14:21:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went on a short road trip. Jim’s aunt and uncle were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and there was an open house in their honor in Newberg. That’s about 3 1/2 hours from home. With other commitments already on the calendar for part of the weekend, we opted to make it a day trip. Leaving in the morning at the same time we’d normally leave for church, we got to Newberg about 1pm, just in time to change into ‘reception clothes’ and head over to the party. We loved it and had a great time catching up with everyone. Ryan and Logan were in heaven—an afternoon with their cousins is always high on their list of favorites.

So why the french fries in the picture? Well, on the way home we stopped for dinner. Nothing fancy, and as a matter of fact, we let the boys choose since they’d be so cooperative and well-behaved all day. (Being allowed to choose is a special treat. We don’t reward for expected behavior, but yesterday, with just over 6 hours in the car, it was appropriate to take their input into account.) Their choice? McDonalds, of course. It’s definitely not my favorite, but on the rare occasions we eat fast food I can deal with it.

The boys LOVE Happy Meals. They eat the food. They love the toys. They think the french fries are pretty delicious. And roughly 2 ounces of french fries (maybe 30 or so fries) really isn’t too bad in the grand scheme of things. I mean really—they eat healthily every day. A treat once in a while should be just that: a treat. Yeah. Not so much any more. McDonalds has cut the amount of fries in their Happy Meals to just over 1 ounce, or approximately 14 fries. (Yes, I counted. Both containers.) Instead, you get apple slices with your meal now. Ummm….really? REALLY? When did I lose my ability to make decisions for my children? And apple slices? Are they organic apples? What preservative was used so they’d stay pretty and white all sliced in their cellophane bag? And how about that caramel sauce handed out with it? Doesn’t the sugar content and the calories of THAT treat roughly equal that of 15 fries? It’s such a crock. And to make things even better, when they were done, they were still hungry so we bought some McFlurrys for the road. NOT how we would choose to do things, and certainly not healthy. From this point forward, on the rare occasions we eat at McDonalds, they’ll now be sharing an ‘adult’ meal instead of having Happy Meals. More food to keep tummies happy, and cheaper too. I guess I’ll be grateful for that.

I have 2 little boys. LITTLE boys. One of them is barely on the weight chart for his age, having just cracked the 7th percentile. The other is larger, but still only in the 45th percentile for his age. Their consumption of McDonalds fries as an occasional treat will not make them obese. Heavens…if it would put some weight on my littler guy, I’d buy them more often! As it is, we struggle to help him gain weight. Cutting his caloric intake is definitely not on my radar! I’d appreciate being able to make those decisions myself, based on the needs in my family.

It’s a sorry state of affairs when school recesses are being canceled, the ability to walk and play and run and ride bikes is seriously curtailed due to ‘safety concerns’ and work schedules and the primary approach to childhood obesity is to remove a parent’s freedom to choose how to feed their children. I laughed when I saw Jimi Hendrix’s quote that says

“I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.”

There’s a hint of truth in it, for sure. And I think that Dwight D. Eisenhower hit it in his State of the Union address in February 1953:

“To be true to one’s own freedom is, in essence, to honor and respect the freedom of all others.”

So please, Mrs. First Lady, can you please keep your hands…and your laws…out of my feeding of my children? Will you please respect and honor my freedom? No one forces people to eat McDonalds fries! But when you restrict them, you are limiting my freedom. There HAS to be a better way than dictating what our children can and cannot eat!

*Note: I am far less frustrated and angry than I was last night. :) The whole thing is incredibly stupid, and it’s hit a hot button with me. Ridiculous laws that don’t address the root cause of the problem (High fructose corn syrup, anyone? How about excessive consumption of carbohydrates? And don’t get me started on ‘fat free’ foods like sour cream and cream cheese…how on earth can all those chemicals be good for us???) only serve to perpetuate the issue. Until we learn to eat foods that remember where they came from, foods that were lovingly made with fresh ingredients in home kitchens, and spend more time outside running, jumping, playing, and working like we used to, the problem will continue to grow.

Whew! I feel better now. Thanks for letting me vent.

newsflash

2011-10-20T16:34:00.001-07:00

Today’s news: 61 months and 2 bone marrow transplants after his original diagnosis of ALL (acute lymphocytic leukemia), my nephew Nicholas is CANCER-FREE!! His blood work and bone marrow are completely free of any signs of leukemia. PRAISE GOD!!

Thanks for praying with us and for him over the years. ‘Grateful‘ doesn’t even begin to cover it…

another great article!

2011-10-17T21:55:00.001-07:00

Katie is getting famous. :) (Just preparing her for life as a top notch Division I basketball player!) There’s been another article published about her and her family…you can read it here.

And while you read it, you can rejoice with us! She’s finished her first round of treatment. She’s feeling better and hopes to get back to school sometime soon. The doctors are thrilled with the way she’s responding to treatment. The road is still long and there’s still a need for prayer, but today is a day of rejoicing and praise!

crazy days

2011-10-16T23:13:00.001-07:00

Life right now is crazy…bordering on overwhelming. As a matter of fact, I told Jim yesterday that when life is so busy I only have time to do the grocery shopping on Saturday, I’ve got too much on my plate! I know it will slow down, and even more than that I am painfully aware of how much I will miss some of this next fall. In the meantime, I’m just hanging on, hoping to avoid a total meltdown.

Tomorrow is Monday. And it’s back to the grindstone (so to speak, anyway). Here’s typical week for us:

Monday: laundry, school, speech therapy, high school student here, volleyball
Tuesday: school, teach preschool, speech therapy, occupational therapy, errands
Wednesday: clean house, laundry, school, grocery store, high school student here, volleyball
Thursday: school, speech therapy (3 hour trip, as it’s 45 miles to therapy this day), small group
Friday: tidy house, vacuum and mop, laundry, finish any incomplete school for the week, relax (maybe. hopefully)

Then there are this week’s bonuses: tomorrow we get to add a doctor’s appointment for Tori, hoping that she’ll be cleared to retun to play volleyball again. Tuesday we have a couple errands on the docket that are critical and must be done on Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday are ‘normal’ days; Friday is Logan’s 7th birthday and I have the honor of taking dinner to some friends. Saturday is an all day volleyball tournament about 30 miles north of here and a birthday dinner for Logan. Somewhere in all this I have to get out my sewing machine and finish his birthday gifts, or he’ll be having a present-less birthday.

It can feel way overwhelming. Some of it is a huge challenge. Speech therapy, at about 3 hours a week for actual therapy plus the additional practice daily at home, takes a gigantic chunk of time. Thursdays especially, since it’s an hour each direction. It shoots most of the day for us. I get frustrated by it, but I have to remind myself that we are here because God chose this child for our family. He placed this young man here, in our home. He trusts us to care for this little boy, to advocate for him and to give him the best we have. I often remind myself of Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” The reminder that all this is to honor God doesn’t necessarily make it easier, but it sure helps keep my attitude in check!

The next thing to go on the calendar is for me. I hope to get another weekend away for myself sometime soon. I can feel myself getting raggedy around the edges and know that I need time to recoup. The calendar is pretty full, but somehow I’m going to fit it in. Soon, I hope! Refreshment for my soul has to be part of the schedule, or I can’t keep up the pace. It comes in applying Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Numbering my days aright to gain a heart of wisdom? Sounds worth the effort me…

field trip!

2011-10-12T08:40:00.001-07:00

Monday we spent the day at the zoo. The weather was less than delightful, but the company was perfect and the boys had an incredibly good time. They loved having an older friend along, and were thrilled to meet up with Rachel and her mom Anne. As a bonus, we saw some families from church who homeschool…families with students the same age as the boys. I knew one family did, but the other was a surprise. How fun for the boys to see that one of their little buddies was home too! Now maybe we’ll have the opportunity for some playdates. :)

mom

2011-10-07T11:19:00.001-07:00

I came to an awkward realization a few weeks ago:

I have become my mother.

It’s not a bad thing. It does feel strange. It hit me last month when I was at Costco. I was buying groceries like normal and passed the chocolate covered almonds (yum!). I looked at them for a brief moment, then decided I would wait. After all, Emily loves them and she was going to be home from school the following weekend. I’d wait ‘til she was home, take her to Costco, and buy her a container to take back to school. Almost as soon as I finished the thought, I realized that it was exactly the type of thing my mother used to do. Still does, as a matter of fact. And I laughed.

I remember the first time I ever thought I was turning into my mother. Brent was probably about 5 or 6, and we were headed someplace in the car. Someone said something, and my immediate response was something my mother would say. I took a deep breath in and tried to come to terms with the thought. I was too young to be her! It wasn’t fair. Then I realized…there are far worse things in life! I let go of the concern and went on with life.

Now Brent is 22, and I’m becoming more like Mom all the time. I say the same things she would. We like the same kinds of things. We have some of the same hobbies (but she’s a far better quilter than I). Our mannerisms are very similar. Heavens…we cook the same dinner several nights a week without talking about it! The whole thing just makes me laugh.

Mom turned 70 last week. We had a birthday dinner to celebrate. While she was here, I watched her. And something dawned on me. Becoming my mother is a good thing! She’s all the things I want to be when I grow up. She loves her children and grandchildren unconditionally. She’s involved in their lives—everything from watching their sporting events to reading them books for the 897th time. She’s generous (to a fault, my dad might say!). She gives from her heart. She’s fun to be with. She is genuine and loves people. She talks lots but listens well and remembers much. She and Dad will celebrate their 48th anniversary in December. Dad’s been retired for over 20 years, and she still enjoys having him around. :)

“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.” ~Proverbs 16:31

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” ~Proverbs 31:30

Thanks Mom! It is a privilege to call you Mom and role model.

more about Katie

2011-10-04T05:50:00.001-07:00

I know I posted a picture of Katie last week and a little bit about what is going on with her. She still needs our prayers! She’s home now, going in every morning for outpatient treatment. Each day gets a bit worse, and according to her, yesterday’s treatment was brutal. She’s dealing with headaches and intense nausea. She’s got a cold, which keeps her feeling crummy. Her immune system isn’t healthy enough to fight it off, so it keeps dragging on. Overall, she’s just kinda miserable.

But there’s another side to Katie, one that I didn’t share. She’s an incredibly gifted athlete. This article was published yesterday by ESPN, on their college sports site. Check it out. Learn a bit more about our friend, and keep her in your prayers. They are greatly appreciated.

catching up

2011-09-30T08:05:00.001-07:00

It’s Friday. The sun is shining! And today is my mother’s 70th birthday, so we’re having a party. It’s going to be a great day!! :)

Some updates on odds and ends for you:

*We saw the doctor about Tori’s shoulder. He’s a bit concerned about some issues and scheduled her for an MRI. That was done early this morning. Hopefully we’ll have results on Monday some time. In the meantime, she’s on the rest/ice/aleve regime until further notice. I think that might hurt as much as the shoulder does…giving up even a part of her senior season is painful.

*I emailed our nursing care coordinator at the Craniofacial Clinic and shared my concerns about Logan’s possible developmental delays. She immediately replied that it was, in fact, an area of concern and that she would bring it up with his team the following Monday. They clearly decided it needed some further investigation, because yesterday I got a call from the Neurodevelopmental Clinic with a referral and a request to schedule an appointment. It’s on my list of things to do today. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll have some answers.

*I went yesterday to the hospital to see my friend Ann and her daughter Katie. What fun! It was so great to have a chance to sit and visit. I got to visit with both of them for about an hour, then Katie was not feeling well and ready for a nap, so Ann and I went out to the lobby for a bit. With such busy lives, I rarely get a chance to catch up with her. This is NOT how either of us would choose to do it, for sure, but it was very nice to be able to sit and talk. Usually our catch-up time is taken in bits and pieces while we work in the concessions stand at basketball…this was a treat. And such good news! Katie will hopefully be released on Sunday. She’s feeling well for the most part (dealing with headaches from the meds) and her labs and other tests show that she’s exactly where the doctors want her. Every day they see evidence of God’s hand on all this, from the hospital to the doctor to the diagnosis and treatment. Will you pray with me for Katie? I know that she and her whole family would appreciate it. This is Kate:

Isn’t she just gorgeous? She’s so much more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside…an incredibly amazing young lady. It’s a real privilege to know her and her family.

I think that’s it. I’m off to the kitchen to prep for tonight’s birthday dinner. Enjoy your Friday!

crazy week, busy day

2011-09-29T07:02:00.001-07:00

It’s been a bit of a roller coaster week around here. Most of it is stuff that is happening to people we love around us rather than right here at home, but still…

Sunday morning I was up at 4 with Ryan, and for some strange reason checked my phone. A text had just come in from a dear friend. We’ve been friends for 22+ years. We’ve been in small groups together. We went on vacation together for years. Her boys are older than Brent; her girls are the same ages as some of mine. (Ann has always been the perfect mentor and go-to person for questions about raising boys!) She was texting us to let us know that her 18 year old daughter, a beautiful, talented girl with a life full of love and promise, had been diagnosed with leukemia. We’re familiar with that disease here. Sadly. I cried. We all cried. It was hard. (Still is!) But Katie is upbeat. A real trooper! Treatment started Monday night, and they’ve been surrounded by friends and family lifting them up and loving on them. Good thing, too—my friend had texted me on Thursday morning to let me know that her mother in law had just passed away (not unexpected.) It’s been a tough week at their house. Here, the feelings of helplessness flow. It can be easy to get bogged down in how little can be done to really ‘help’ in this situation.

Monday was busy. School. Speech therapy. Volleyball in Tacoma. Then Tuesday came, and it’s ALWAYS crazy. Preschool in the morning. Usually speech therapy in the afternoon, but this week preschool was followed by a quick dash home to take care of a forgotten chore, then a trip to Costco for groceries. Laundry and a quick tidying up followed. Wednesday had school for the boys. School for my high school friend. Setting an appointment for my girl to see the doctor about her shoulder, which hurts right now. It’s likely a volleyball injury. Then volleyball, ‘til way too late last night. And the final straw…a fall on the court, which pushed my already tired, frustrated, in-pain child over the edge. The shoulder is in agony. Good thing the doctor’s appointment is this morning!

That brings us today. The current schedule is nuts: doctor this morning. Speech therapy, far from home. A visit to the hospital to see Katie and hug her mom. A park date with a friend who moved away. Small group. Too much! At this point, it’s probably speech therapy that will go. I’m not even sure we could make it up there, given the distance and the rest of the schedule. In between all those things is some prep for tomorrow. That’s okay…I LIKE the routine stuff like that.

Since this day officially gets moving in less than an hour, I should really get myself started. It was a long night (Ryan couldn’t sleep) and today will be a long day. But the same God who called me to this job will bring us through this day. Especially if this is our attitude:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Col 3:23

Off to “work for the Lord” today! I’m so glad He’s in control!!

our day

2011-09-23T18:52:00.001-07:00

We had an incredibly fun day with friends. To see pics , go here. (One of the girls asked to use my camera, so I didn’t have it to take along.) The fun was a good thing after this morning’s incident with the deer. :\ The boys ADORE playing with Rachel…so much so that this afternoon they decided that Rachel and her family need to move onto our street so they can play together more often. That sounds about right…

an early morning fright

2011-09-23T09:09:00.001-07:00

Now that the sun is shining, I’m quite grateful to be alive. I was nearly scared to death this morning in the dark. It was 5:40; Jim had already left for work and everyone else was upstairs sleeping. I was sitting at the table looking over the newspaper when outside I heard a noise. A loud noise. The sound of something dropping. On the back porch. Like right on the other side of the wall from the kitchen table! Yikes. I got up from the chair, walked to the sliding glass door, and came face to face with..

…a DEER! Standing on my back patio, contentedly munching on the apples in the buckets that Jim had picked the other day. I was tied up Wednesday and gone yesterday, so dealing with them was on my calendar for today. Never in a million years did it occur to either of us that we needed to put them in the garage…we’ve lived here 18 years, always done this at the end of September, and never had a problem.

The deer looked me in the eye and took a step away from the bucket, quite clearly waiting for me to go back to the table so she could get back to her feast. I turned on the porch light and waved my hands; she moved a few steps further away. I took a deep breath and slid the door open (all the while thinking “You are a first class IDIOT!!”) and she started for the back fence. Gathering all my courage, I stepped out on to the back porch, and in a flash she jumped our 6’ fence. Good riddance! Go eat the neighbor’s crops for a bit, sweetheart. :\

Clearly, now, we’re going to have to make some changes. It’s been a long frustrating summer with our newest yard guest. My roses have been destroyed. Our tomatoes never had a chance. My only peach was enjoyed by a deer, not by any of us. The cherry tree has been decimated. The raspberries are, apparently, quite delectable. As are the strawberries. This. Will. NOT. work. I’m sorry, dear deer, but you are NOT welcome here. And next summer? Think again before you try and make my garden your buffet table. (Hopefully by then we’ll have some sort of remedy for this issue!!)

In the meantime, I am very grateful that it was only a deer in my backyard this morning. It could have been something worse. And after all, perspective is everything.

5 years ago

2011-09-20T21:07:00.001-07:00

Some days are indelibly etched in my mind. I vividly recall all sorts of details about those days. September seems to have more than its share of them:

Saturday, September 13, 1986—our wedding.
Friday, September 16, 1994—Victoria is born.
Tuesday, September 11, 2001—the attack on the US.
Thursday, September 1, 2005—our referral for Ryan arrives in Seattle and we see his picture for the first time.

And Wednesday September 20, 2006. 8:15AM. I was sitting in the family room on the floor playing with 20 month old Ryan. The big guys were all 4 at school for the first time in several years since Tori was in the 7th grade at Seattle Christian. Emily, 9th grade, Hailey, 10th grade, and Brent, 12th grade, had already been at SCS for a year or two. The house was mostly quiet when the phone rang. It was my sister on the other end. And she was crying.

Her 4 year old had been sick, and they’d been to the pediatrician for a blood draw to see if his diagnosis of strep was a systemic infection. Through her tears, she told me that the dr. had called and asked her to get her husband and her son and meet at the oncologist’s office. She was, understandably, terrified.

After a long day of waiting (for us) and an interminable day of medical terms and plans of action (for them) we learned that Nicholas had Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, or ALL. He was admitted to the hospital at that point to begin treatment. Ted, their older son, had just started 1st grade. Trying to manage a 4 year old in the hospital and an almost 7 year old in school all day was overwhelming. I got on a plane Thursday to go help out. It was far easier for us to adjust and make arrangements for Ryan than it was to expect Pam to be able to do it all alone. I spent 4 days in Boise, then flew home for Ryan’s readoption hearing. When it was done, he and I flew back to continue to help out.

It’s been a rough road. Nick’s treatment was initially successful, but over the years he’s relapsed several times. Treatment was hard, and Nick lost his hair. Many times. He’s been on steroids, and we’ve seen the bald, moon faced Nick more than once.

The first bone marrow transplant was in March 2009. At this point Nick was being treated in Seattle, so he was closer to (our) home. Pam and the boys were living at the Ronald McDonald house, and Tony was in school full time in Boise. It was not fun. Not for anyone. But God is faithful, and some things changed. Tony was able to join them here. Didn’t make the circumstances any less ugly, but it helped to have him here.

Nick’s first transplant was a success, and his recovery was (relatively) quick. (I know…it depends on who you ask!) Sadly, when he had his 1 year post transplant workup, the doctors discovered that Nick had again relapsed. The odds were definitely stacked against them. But there were no other options. Late September 2010, Nick had a second bone marrow transplant. This was much rougher, and included a stay in ICU. There were some scary moments. But you know what? God is SO faithful! Look at Nick today:

He’s healthy. He looks incredible! He’s attending the neighborhood school and playing football. In late October he has his 1 year post transplant appointments and follow up. It’s tense for sure, and I would bet that at some level Pam and Tony are holding their breath. But they also know that for the first time in a very long time, Nick feels GOOD. He feels HEALTHY. And he’s not afraid to tell you that. If you asked him, he’d say he’s got this thing beat.

5 years later, we are rejoicing. The miracle is Nick, the praise is God’s. And it doesn’t get much better than this.

at what point do you get concerned?

2011-09-19T13:29:00.001-07:00

There’s a child in this house who is totally, completely unable to entertain himself. Without a sibling or a parent to play with, he’s at a loss. Unless someone is (figuratively) holding his hand every minute, he cannot do it. He can’t play cars or Legos or anything else alone for even 5 minutes. He LOVES passive entertainment, and hates that we keep TV/movies/electronic games to a bare minimum. (For him, anyway. It’s less limited for some of the others, who are capable of entertaining themselves, can read, and have rich imaginations.) If someone isn’t actively engaging him and directing his play, he does one of two things: 1) he wanders around the house from person to person, moping and pestering; or 2) he will start imitating the closest person, without having much (any?) independent thought. He mimics his brother, parroting nearly everything that is said. If one person asks for something, he immediately perks up and says, “Oh! Me too please!” Doesn’t matter who is talking or what they’re asking for…he request is always for “Me too.” Some days it seems that he’s totally incapable of a single independent thought. He does, clearly, have some independent thoughts, but they feel few and far between.

I’ve long wondered about an overall developmental delay. He seems to be stuck in many ways at 3 years old. His drawings look like those of a 3 year old. His fine motor skills are about on par with a 3 year old. His gross motor skills are only slightly better than the average 3 year old. His language skills are a bit beyond 3 years, but his construction and syntax sure aren’t. And after 2 years of speech therapy focusing on grammar, syntax, and vocabulary, we’re not seeing much progress. :\ (He also has speech therapy for articulation, where progress is very slow, but we are seeing progress.) His impulse control is on par with a 3 year old…if it’s that good. His emotional responses to frustration and disappointment mimic those of the neighborhood toddler. For the last bit, it’s been like living with a perpetual 3 year old. Don’t get me wrong—I LOVE 3 year olds. I adore their inquisitiveness and their zest for life. I also love the fact that they are learning and growing every day, continually making forward strides. We’re stuck deep in early 3’s here. No signs of forward strides. And it’s getting a bit frustrating.

I understand about orphanage delays, but this child has been home long enough that he should have outgrown much/all of that already. He’s been home almost exactly as long as he lived in China! One would think that we’d see progress…

So…with an impending visit to the Craniofacial Clinic at Children’s, where they have developmental pediatricians as part of the team, would you ask to have him seen by one? We don’t currently have a dev. ped. on the team—his craniofacial pediatrician is a geneticist—but we have an awesome nursing care coordinator who could set it up for us. Or, should I just take him to our regular (and excellent!) pediatrician and see what he says?

when actions speak louder than words

2011-09-17T15:24:00.001-07:00

“More is caught than taught.” If I ever doubted it before, I don’t any more. We got a package in the mail for our anniversary. It included an original canvas and a letter.

It said:

Happy 25th anniversary! I don’t know where I would be without you both…literally and figuratively! Like I said in the note with the flowers, I admire the relationship that you two have modeled and I could not have asked for a better example of how a marriage should work.

I have learned that happiness is not dependent on the other person, but happiness sure is able to come from that person.

I have learned that relationships are an equal balance of compromise and cooperation.

I have learned that personal wants and desires sometimes need to be sacrificed for a marriage to work, but the unexpected blessings that arise leave absolutely no room for regret.

I have learned that there are specific roles in marriage that each spouse has, neither being subservient to the other.

I have learned that love is not always in the form of words or touch, but in doing the little things.

I have learned that marriage gives you someone who will always love you even if your jokes are lame.

I have learned that a true relationship is one that is felt not only in the good times and the bad times, but all the boring time in between too.

I have learned that a marriage cannot be founded on the fallibility of each other, but on the infallibility of Christ.

I have learned that marriage is a dynamic and continuous learning experience—for there are always aspects that can be bettered.

I have learned that to get respect, you have to give respect.

There is plenty more I could say, but here is one last one:

I have learned that a marriage is something, that after 25 years, both will sit on the couch at nigh (one browsing—browsing, eh?—train prices on the computer and the other eagerly scrutinizing her quilting handiwork) and wonder how in the world it has gotten to be 25 years.

(the painting)

As for the gift, I would like to explain it because otherwise it is simply an abstract piece of art. Which I specifically chose to do, mind you, because then if it ended up looking terrible no one can judge…it’s abstract art, people! Haha. So to begin, I would like you to notice the colors in the painting: red, white, silver, and golden yellow. First off, we have the red and white striped background. Together, red and white are used as ceremonial Japanese wedding colors; oftentimes the newlywed couple receives red and white ornaments as a tangible symbol of happiness and celebration. The color red signifying passion and the color white symbolizing purity; I believe strongly both colors imply two important facets in a successful marriage. Moving on, I would like you to notice the sprinkled gray and golden yellow paint. The color yellow is sometimes understood as the color of joy and happiness, both being attitudes which I have witnessed through my cognizant years of your marriage. Furthermore, the complete luxury and richness of life and in heart that comes from a marriage is typified by the golden hues of the yellow paint. Lastly, however insensitive and callous it may sound, the silver color archetypally represents old age. But what I would love to focus on is not the graying of your hairs but the wisdom and sagacity that has come out of your many years of life together. Silver symbolizes security, reliability, and maturity, which likewise are all aspects of your marriage that I see firmly today.

I love you both more than words can say…

There’s no way on earth we could have intentionally taught all this. Heavens—some of this is simply a result of being committed to the marriage, not specifically a conscious decision to act in a certain way. It’s far more than I ever hoped or dreamed they would see in us. I am humbled. God’s faithfulness is seen by those around us, simply by acting in a manner worthy of Christ.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ~Phil 2:3-4

**One thing to note: this came from our child whose gift is most definitely words. She’s a talented writer and artist. But the others gave gifts that are equally thoughtful, and much more fitting to their personalities. We have a child with an incredible servant’s heart. We have one with the gifts of mercy and compassion. We have one blessed with a quick wit and a tender heart. All of them expressed their love to us in their own unique style. It just happens that this example is the easiest to share…

too fast

2011-09-16T13:53:00.001-07:00

From this……

to this…

in the blink of an eye. Where does it go??

Happy 17th birthday, sweet girl! It’s a joy and a privilege to be your mom. You bring sunshine to everyone around you. Thanks for being just who you are! We love you.

where does the time go??

2011-09-13T05:04:00.001-07:00

25 years ago, we got married. Hardly seems possible that it was so long ago. But it was.

Clearly we were quite a bit younger.

It’s been quite the adventure and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Here’s to 25 more. At least. :)

hero

2011-09-11T20:33:00.001-07:00

He ro noun \ˈhir-(ˌ)ō\ plural –roes A person, typically a man, noted for feats of courage, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his life. (The American Heritage Dictionary, 2nd College Edition. © 1982)

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the word hero? I know for most of us, there’s an immediate response. For me? Simple. It’s people like our neighbor Bill, a police officer on a local force; our friends John and Susan, with their ministry to homeless men and their commitment to homeless single moms with children; a whole group of dads we know who are firefighters; my brothers in law (Jim’s brothers—all 3 of them!), our nephew, my dad and grandfather, and our son, who have willingly served in the armed forces—those are the first people who come to mind.

None of those people have sacrificed their lives to help others, and some of them have never even really put themselves at (serious) risk for others, but they all have another characteristic in common—they selflessly put others ahead of themselves. They are willing to meet the needs of others, to take care of others, and not count the cost to themselves. They willingly sacrifice things besides their lives: creature comforts, financial gain, safety, peace and quiet. They are, to a number, people whose lives exemplify qualities I would be proud to see in my own children.

It’s hard to help kids understand real heroes. Real heroes don’t have superpowers like Spiderman or Superman. Those are things most kids—boys especially!—find so attractive. But even then, they can learn at an early age that superpowers are not the only important thing for a hero. My little guys have a friend who is beginning to get it. Collin is 5, and he’s enchanted with Superman. He wears his Superman cape everywhere, and lives to wear his Superman shirt. But Collin’s parents are very good at helping Collin understand that being a hero is more than just having special superpowers. How do I know that Collin is getting it? Well, he made this:

to let the world know that inside that house, there was a young man willing to make sacrifices on your behalf. And, if I know Collin, he’d do it quite happily for a cookie. :)

The thing is…most of us don’t do a very good job of training up our children, our boys, to believe that being a hero is something they can do. Something they are capable of achieving. In that regard, Collin is light years ahead of his peers. That’s a good thing. Way to go, Mom and Dad. Keep up the good work.

And Collin? If I ever need a hero, I promise you’ll be the first person I call!

apparently…

2011-09-07T10:23:00.001-07:00

my garden…

has a new ‘friend.’

it’s back….

2011-09-06T22:22:00.001-07:00

Volleyball season, that is. Today was the season opening jamboree. I’d forgotten how crazy volleyball days can be! School this morning…visit from my brother in law and his wife…make 13 meals for the team (and coach and bus driver. I signed up for the 1st game, to get it over with)…get them to school in time to make the bus…dash back home to pack OUR dinner…head north to the jamboree (game time? 5pm. Location? 30 miles north of us, THROUGH Seattle at rush hour. Such fun!)…watch volleyball until 8pm…come back home and tuck tired boys into bed…clean kitchen from the mess of making 17 sack meals.

Whew! 1 down, 14 more to go. Sadly, it’s ONLY 14 more this time, since Tori is a senior and this is the last year for high school volleyball at our house. I will miss it! It was fun to watch the new team work together. They’ve got some kinks to work out, but they’ll get there!

We enjoyed our visit with Uncle Jay and Aunt Christy today. Or, perhaps more accurately, the boys liked meeting Uncle Jay and Aunt Christy and LOVED seeing Dixie and Dakota, their dogs. Jay recently retired after 24 years in the Air Force, and they’re doing a bit of traveling before they settle into ‘civilian’ life. It was so much fun to have them here! Jim and I saw Jay just last year at Brent’s graduation from boot camp, but none of the rest of the family has seen them for 5 years. That means Ryan was a baby, and they’ve never met Logan until this weekend. The boys have new best friends, and we had such a wonderful time just catching up a bit. It will be so nice to have them closer to us and able to come to family holiday celebrations! No, Utah’s not that close, but it’s sure closer than North Dakota!! Now, to get their son transferred out this direction… Arkansas is just too far away. :)

Family…fun…a visit from Emily…a promised visit from Brent…what a great way to start September! Even if the whole “first day craziness” of volleyball snuck up on me this year. I’m gonna enjoy this while it lasts, ‘cause I KNOW for sure I’ll miss it next year!

6 years ago…

2011-09-01T17:47:00.001-07:00

…we got a VERY important phone call. The caller let us know that the packet we’d been waiting for was in, and if we wanted to come pick it up we could. Wanted to? We’d been waiting for MONTHS for this information…we’d be on our way immediately. Inside, we found these:

Referral pictures (and paperwork) for a baby born just 8 1/2 months before. He looked so worried with his furrowed little brow! We couldn’t wait to go get him.

We left about 7 weeks later, and brought home Ryan Joseph. It’s been quite an adventure! He’s a joy and a delight. And now we only see that furrowed brow when he’s joking with us. No more worried baby!

November 2005, 10 months old

May 2006, 16 months

Feb 2008, 3 years

January 2009, 4 years

January 2010, 5 years (yes, it’s the same shirt! He doesn’t grow very fast…)

January 2011, 6 years. (Same shirt. Again. And it’s STILL in the drawer…)

Ryan, you are such a blessing! It is quite an honor to be your parents.

I love my job! :)

2011-08-29T22:50:00.001-07:00

aSometimes I think I’m the luckiest mom in the world. I have the greatest children! It’s a joy and a privilege to spend time with them. I feel bad for moms whose greatest wish is for their children to get old enough to go to school, for summer to be over and school to start, for them to be old enough to take care of themselves. Those moms are missing out! I hear it all around me all the time, especially in the summer: “I canNOT wait for school to be back in session. I can not take another week of this child!” It’s hard to go and sit at the park while the boys play contentedly and listen to the moms around me grumble. But it’s also no surprise. I mean, I wouldn’t want to spend days on end with some of their children either! Good heavens. Sadly, most of them don’t realize that they have no one to blame but themselves.

The last time we were at the park, I watched as two moms interacted with their children. One mom had a boy, about 5, and a girl, about 3. The girl was throwing sand. The mom probably said 15 times “Please stop throwing sand.” The little boy got in on the action, and there was sand flying everywhere. By now the mom was quite frazzled and the pitch of her voice had gone up an octave or two. “Please. Stop. Throwing. Sand. Now.” she said. They kept on. She threatened to take away their toys. The little boy threw them at her. She stomped off, angry. The situation continued to escalate. Through it all, my twosome watched with huge eyes. At one point, one of them looked at me and said, “Mom? When is she going to DO something instead of just yelling?” Wise child. But then…he knows. This mom doesn’t ask multiple times. She doesn’t threaten. She asks quietly and politely, and expects compliance. She follows through immediately with consequences for inappropriate behavior. And at 6, they are a delight to be around, and I can’t think of a single place I would be concerned about taking them. Even the one who makes me crazy sometimes with his 1,000 questions and his short attention span and his sensory issues and his incessant need to be in the middle of everything and every conversation? Yep. He’s a delight to be around, and definitely knows how to behave.

The second mom had 3 young boys, probably 8, 5, and 2. The 2 year old was being 2—pestering his big brothers as they played in the sand. The 8 year old kept whining at him. The mom told him 5 or 6 times that if he didn’t stop whining, they would go home. (Her voice was incredibly whiny.) He kept whining. The 2 year old kept pushing his buttons. You could see that it was deliberate…the look on his face was very clear. He knew exactly what was going on. The mom finally lost it, grabbed the 8 year old by his arm, and marched him off the beach, berating him for his display of attitude. I kept wondering when she was going to realize that he was only mimicking what was being modeled for him.

With children who behave like that, it’s no wonder that moms are thrilled to see summer vacation come to an end. Even toddlers can be taught to obey. It’s a matter of consistency. Meaning what you say, and being willing to follow through with consequences if they choose to ‘blow you off.’ It’s hard. It requires being willing to take action. To be thoughtful. And proactive. It’s definitely not for everyone. It is, after all, far simpler to gripe about how ‘busy’ and ‘active’ your children are. To complain about the fact that they are in to ‘everything’ and you must spend every minute watching and chasing them. Look in the mirror!! You have trained them that way. Have taught them that their behavior is acceptable. They learn SO FAST that they don’t have to obey until Mom turns purple and there is smoke coming out her ears. It’s hard to undo that teaching.

Frustrated, misbehaving children. Frustrated, irritated, (angry?) moms. Is it any wonder that scripture states clearly, in 2 different places, these verses? Or that they go together?? It’s fairly clear if you read Ephesians 6:1-4 or Colossians 3:20-21. They both say

Children, obey your parents…fathers, do not exasperate your children.

Why do children need to obey their parents? Because learning to obey Mom and Dad is the precursor…and practice…for obeying God. That’s the goal—obeying God! So why aren’t parents supposed to exasperate their children? Imagine how difficult it is to obey when parents don’t know what they want!! Or at least don’t make their expectations clear. Oy!

Am I perfect? Heavens NO!! Are my children? Absolutely not!! They misbehave. I yell. We have frustrating days. We also have wonderful fun days, and it’s the greatest privilege in the world to be their mom. And their teacher. I love love LOVE having them home with me day in and day out. Seeing them learn. Watching them grow. Someday they will go to school. And I will be both happy and sad. Happy, because I know that they will love it, and that they will be wonderful additions to a classroom. And sad, because I will miss them terribly.

(Please note: this is NOT directed at anyone in particular. It is simply something I see over and over and over, and decided it was time to write about it.)

a lightbulb moment…and other stuff too

2011-08-25T22:24:00.001-07:00

Or, an “Oh DUH!!” kind of afternoon.

Today I picked up hamburger. 40 pounds of hamburger. I took 10 pounds, divided it into meal-sized portions and froze it. I took another 10 pounds, browned it, then froze that in meal-sized portions. I put 10 pounds in the fridge to deal with tomorrow. And the last 10 pounds? Well…I wanted to make it into hamburger patties to freeze so that I didn’t have to do the work later. After thinking through a whole host of options to get it done—all of which were rejected as too much work!—it dawned on me: Put the whole log in the freezer. Freeze it for a couple of hours, til it’s mostly solid but not frozen through. Put it on the cutting board, slice into burgers, and freeze the rest of the way. Place in a plastic bag and voila! ready to grill hamburgers, with no fuss and very little effort.

See? Told you it was an “oh DUH!” afternoon. :)

**********************************************************************

In other news, Logan is doing AWESOME at speech! That boy works SO HARD!! Today, he was putting out so much effort to complete the tasks before him that his whole body was shaking. And he’s making progress. A big piece of the focus is on core strength and building up his core so that he’s not perpetually compensating for his lack of strength. Things like jumping on the trampoline, riding his bicycle, and chewing bubble gum (the hard stuff—hubba bubba bubble gum) are therapy exercises. Fortunately, they’re fun to practice. We’re seeing results, too. Logan did 3 miles on his bike on a trail over the weekend. He runs from our house to the park without stumbling or falling, and with a decent running form. He’s mastered some of the ‘jaw strength’ exercises she wants him to learn. The next step? Developing lung capacity. We talked about 2 options: a specific whistle or a spirometer. Logan’s eyes lit up at the suggestion of a spirometer and he said, “Grandpa has some! I play with them at his house.” Needless to say, a call was made to Grandpa this afternoon, and now we have a spirometer in our therapy box. Logan spent the afternoon playing with it and the stopwatch on my phone. It’s awesome when therapy is so much fun that he WANTS to play.

School’s been much better the last 2 days, so I’m not feeling as desperate. Fridays are low-key days on purpose, and we’re probably going to pick something fun to do when we’re done with our few things we have for school (Bible, reading, and science). We’ve survived volleyball tryouts for Tori (varsity) and Jim (JV coach) and are looking forward to a nice weekend. That’s a good place to be on a Thursday night. :)

a lesson from the garden

2011-08-24T21:51:00.001-07:00

Those came out of my garden yesterday. Usually by now raspberries are long gone, but my bushes are still producing. I’m picking about 2 dozen berries a day, but I think they’re almost totally gone now. It makes me a bit sad…this has been the best year ever for our berries! These last berries have been the biggest, sweetest berries I’ve ever seen!! Apparently, fertilizer, water, weeding, and patience are good for berry plants. And children too. :)

I’ve thought a lot about this since the other day when I grumbled about school. Maybe I’m pushing too hard. Maybe my ‘tough to teach’ child needs less ‘fertilizer’ and ‘water’ and more patience! He needs clear recognition that this is HIS time schedule, and while I do have some things I want to accomplish, it’s not only about meeting my goals or my dreams. I need to remember that this is about making sure this little guy is properly equipped to be all that God has planned for him.

I was stopped in my tracks yesterday as I read through Ecclesiastes 3. Solomon is sharing his observations about time…

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

Wow! Did you catch that? “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ummm…okay. I can take a hint. My time schedule on this is clearly not God’s! He promises, though, to take this…this MESS…and make it beautiful!! And how about that other part?? The part that says “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” Hmmm…am I finding satisfaction in all my toil? Definitely not at the moment. Guess it’s time for an attitude adjustment.

Today was a much better school day. I made a few minor changes, and everyone was much happier. Because of the raspberries, I’ve started considering something: that the last of the crop is perhaps the sweetest because it is the most surprising, the most unexpected, the last tangible benefit of the time and effort. And maybe…just maybe that applies at home, too. This ‘last crop’ we’re raising, these little boys God has chosen to bless us with, are an opportunity for us to find satisfaction in the toil. To learn and see and take to heart that only HE makes things beautiful. And that He does it in HIS time. Not mine.

Off to find satisfaction in the toil…and heaven knows there’s plenty of that! :)

warning! Grumbly vent ahead…

2011-08-23T12:10:00.001-07:00

Remind me again why I thought homeschooling a special needs child was a good idea? I know the statistic that brought us here: 80% of deaf/hard of hearing children graduate from high school functionally illiterate. We knew (thought!?!) we could do better than that. Yeah, sure. At the moment, I’m thinking that we’re well on the way to being one the 80%!! It’s been ‘tear-your-hair-out!’ frustrating…and we’re only on day 2 of the school year. sigh.

It’s not any one thing; instead, it’s the combination of issues that make it so:::challenging. And it’s nearly impossible to separate out the pieces. The lack of fine motor skills make worksheets hard. The hearing and speech issues make oral work difficult. The combination means staying focused on the ‘hard work’ is nigh unto impossible, even for 2 or 3 minutes. (No, it’s not ADD or ADHD we don’t think. The dr. agrees. ) We both strongly suspect there’s an overarching developmental delay that affects nearly everything. We see it in a variety of things. His drawings (VERY 3 year old-ish!) reflect it. Many of his actions/reactions are much more ‘appropriate’ for a 3 year old. His self control is approximately on par with a 3 year old. He doesn’t tend to connect cause and effect. Logical or natural consequences mean very little to him. Every day is a challenge. Adding school has made it harder.

This same child, though, the one who doesn’t connect cause and effect and has very little self control? Well, he has the most amazing selective memory! (It’s HIGHLY selective!!) He cannot remember for 5 minutes to keep his hands off his sister’s things, but he can remember for 3 weeks snippets of a conversation Jim and I had about something not related to him. And can recite that conversation almost verbatim! Sure makes you watch your words carefully!!

I used to think we were fairly decent parents. Now, though, we’re having to throw out everything we’ve ever learned in 22 years and start over. Talk about humbling! I just have to hang on to what I do know: that the God who brought this child to us is the same God who loves us and is our strength. At the moment, I am beyond grateful for His words in Lamentations 3:

“…this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him…”

Hanging on…

finally, some vacation pics

2011-08-12T16:39:00.001-07:00

It’s been a strange couple of weeks. We usually go to Blue Lake at the end of July, then jump right into August and the whole ‘back to school’ thing with both feet. Not this year. Our trip was a bit earlier than normal, and this year Jim took 3 weeks off instead of just 1. We’ve been on the road a bit, and this week Jim’s been in Boise with Brent. Monday, things return to ‘normal’ around here (whatever that means!)

In the meantime, here are Blue Lake pics:

Hailey wasn’t at Blue Lake this year; Emily was only there for a couple of days; Brent was in and out (and hates having his picture taken!); and Victoria spent most of her time floating on the lake. I actually left my camera at the trailer much of the week, so this is all I’ve got.

Then last week we spent some time with Joel and Cathy, and did a day at Lincoln City. The beach was glorious, and I spent more time enjoying the sunshine than I did taking pics. But there are a few:

I love how Logan’s holding his shorts up out of the water in this pic! The boys never even got wet!!

Ryan with his ‘best friend’…and Logan with Ryan’s ‘best friend’…

And some close ups that are pretty indicative of temperament:

Note the tear on Logan’s cheek. It was because we wouldn’t let him out of the car in a busy parking lot. Terrible parents!! :)

Hailey was with us for this part of the trip, and she let the boys play with my camera. One of them took this, and I like it!

It’s fun to have her with us once in a while. She generally works Saturdays, so this was an extra special weekend.

the quilts

2011-08-12T16:15:00.001-07:00

The wall-hanging I did for our trailer. Each square represents one of the children…(top row: Brent, Victoria, Logan; bottom row: Emily, Hailey, Ryan. Yes, I know that it’s not the right order. It was based on what layout was best!)

It turned out well and looks great on the wall. After 10 years as a blank wall, it’s nice to finally have something there.
And I made 2 baby quilts for friends having baby girls. Lilly was born August 1; Audrey was born August 5. This is Audrey’s quilt. Lilly’s looks just like it, except it has green binding instead of pink. (I don’t have pics of Lilly’s quilt) These were FUN!

Audrey was born in Texas, but her parents were part of our small group before they moved. Because we couldn’t have a shower for her with her mom in attendance, we had a shower without them! Everyone brought unwrapped gifts, and we laughed and talked and wrapped presents for Rachel and Audrey. Then we spent time praying for baby Audrey and her family. A big box was packed and shipped to Rachel in Texas, filled with love from the HCC family. We had fun, and I know that Phil and Rachel feel blessed by their church family. I had too much fun to take many pictures, but I did take one of the dessert table. We had chocolate dessert cups filled with white chocolate mousse and topped with fresh raspberries from the garden. Yum!!

oops

2011-08-11T09:37:00.001-07:00

I forgot one lesson from the road.

If a grasshopper hits your windshield when you are driving 40mph, it will NOT die. Instead it will fall, stunned, to the cowl vent cover* and stay there for a bit. Then it will climb back on to the windshield and hang out, watching you with shifting eyes, while you drive. Even if you are going 60 mph. It can stay for as long as 12 to 15 miles before it decides to jump off. Ask me how I know. Or don’t. I’ll get Emily’s pictures to show you.

And let me tell you…it was creepy having that thing sit there watching us. Ugh. Don’t need to re-learn that lesson!

*The cowl vent cover is the grille thing between the edge of the hood and the base of the windshield. :)

lessons from the road

2011-08-11T00:22:00.001-07:00

We’ve been on the road quite a bit recently…something like 1400 miles (and 3 states) in the last 7 days alone. It’s been quite the adventure! We’ve learned lots, including:

Josh Groban has a incredible voice and his Illuminations CD is excellent.
Michael Buble’s CD Call Me Irresponsible is very good.
Josh Groban followed immediately by Michael Buble can make you laugh at the stark differences in their styles…we called it ‘musical schizophrenia’ in the car.
You can never have too many peanut butter MnM’s on a road trip.
Sour Patch Kids don’t go well with peanut butter MnM’s.
My love affair with the drive to Pullman is over. I don’t care if I never drive that route again. (But I will. Many, many more times, I’m sure!)
My love affair with the Palouse is definitely NOT over. It is SO GORGEOUS over there! I would still move my city girl heart to that part of the state in about 33 seconds. (It would take much longer to move the accumulation of 18 years and 6 children in this house.)
The Oregon coast in the sunshine is almost unbeatable. And there’s nothing like an expanse of sand to make small boys happy.
Ice cream for dinner is excellent. Especially when it’s Tillamook Ice Cream, eaten at the cheese factory.
Shopping isn’t my favorite past-time, but I can enjoy tax free shopping in Oregon. Too much, however, will make me grumpy, as we all witnessed. First hand.
6 year olds have a funny sense of humor. We had to stop for some road construction Tuesday on our way to Pullman. The first words out of Ryan’s mouth? “I don’t have time for this!” Excuse me? What exactly did you have planned, little man?
When we got on the road again, he asked what time we’d be to Pullman. I told him I’d have to think about it, that because of the construction, my estimate was off. “Well” he said, “turn it back on!”
Jockeying for space on the bed to watch TV this morning, the boys kept kicking one another. I told them there was plenty of space, and that they should take half the bed. After thinking a minute, Ryan flopped down, spread-eagle, in the center of the bed and proclaimed, “This is my half, Logan. Keep OUT!!”
Leaving a child at college the day before their birthday is not fun. Especially when they’re not excited about their living situation.
Waiting at the pass while the road is closed for rock blasting can be an adventure. Even when you are beyond ready to be home. It’s not every day you can play in the median of the freeway!

And last, but most definitely not least, there’s no place like home!

We’re all glad to be back. Or at least those of us who are here at the moment. Jim’s in Boise, so his road trip isn’t over yet. (I think his road trip will end up about 15 miles longer than mine, although some of those 1400+ miles we were together.) And Victoria is now at the beach in Oregon; she’ll be home…hmmm…Saturday, I think. Guess I’d better check into that one!
Excited to sleep in my own bed again. ‘Night all!

no…

2011-08-08T11:23:00.001-07:00

…we haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. Vacation was awesome, and one day soon I’ll post pictures. We’ve been crazy busy—off to Portland for a few days to play and shop, tax free, for odds and ends for the college student. A day at the Oregon coast was great, and I have pics of that too. While we were down there we stayed with Jim’s brother and sister in law, and had the opportunity to help out some as Cathy needed to go be with her very ill mother. Camille, Luke, and Grace were so much fun! Flexible, helpful, and easygoing…they’ll do great while their mom is gone. Now it’s a frantic packing day, as Emily leaves TOMORROW for WSU. So sad!

Once the dust settles (and my tears dry) I’ll put up pictures. Oh! I have pictures of the finished quilts, too. I’ll post those as well. I am working on a new project, and after a stop at Fabric Depot in Portland, I have ideas for another 2 or 3. So many dreams, so little time! :)

If everything is bigger in Texas…

2011-07-22T21:29:00.001-07:00

…then my brother in law should live in Texas. Tony is not a big guy. He’s the guy standing at the water’s edge on the right. That’s Jim beside him.

But Tony has a big heart. And he’s got a big truck. :) Because of Tony’s big heart, I’ve been driving his big truck the last 2 days. Tony and my sister used our travel trailer to go to the beach a few weeks ago. In exchange, we get to use their truck when we hit the road for vacation soon. Pretty good deal, if you ask me. But oh my goodness! I drive a Suburban, so I’m used to a ‘big’ car. Uhhh….not so much. Tony’s truck is a Dodge Ram 2500 quad cab long bed. It’s 40” longer than my Suburban. And it sits so much higher! The little guys have to stretch to reach the door handles! Seriously!!

Yesterday I brought it home from their place. Fortunately, I’m fairly comfortable in a big vehicle, and it was during the middle of the day so traffic was not too bad. Today, because we were spread out all over the state, I drove it to Costco to do some grocery shopping. Parked in the back of the lot. Yep…it’s the truck that needs 2 parking spaces in a lot like that. But it’s fun.

The thing I noticed about driving the truck had me laughing. Heads turn. I get second looks. Not like last summer, when Brent’s Mustang was here and I got to drive it some. No, those looks were ‘NICE car!’ These looks are ‘Huh? SHE’S driving that??’ Makes me laugh. But I like driving the truck. At some level, I find that exceptionally frightening.

Once we get the trailer hitched to the ‘big truck’ I’ll take a picture. And you’ll see. Big truck. Somehow, it’s very fitting for the guy with the big heart. Thanks, Tony and Pam!

78 minutes? Is that all?

2011-07-19T07:58:00.001-07:00

Heat. Could the rest of you share? Those of us in Seattle would LOVE some. It’s been a mostly crummy summer—cool to cold and often rainy. But I didn’t know just how cold it’s been until I read this.

I sincerely hope that when we head east of the mountains for vacation, the cold weather stays HERE and doesn’t follow us. I’m tired of wearing fleece in July.

Off to find my sweatshirt…again. <sigh>

thought of the day

2011-07-17T15:32:00.001-07:00

“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps.” ~ Rachel Jankovic, from a post found here.

at the beach

2011-07-13T23:10:00.001-07:00

We hit the beach over the weekend. It was such fun! My sister and her family were there, so the little guys had an opportunity to play with their cousins. They had a ball! Flying kites, playing in the ocean, swimming in the pool, eating ice cream…what more could a kid want?

The ocean was COLD, so the little boys found this ‘hot tub’ to play in. They were in heaven. My 11 year old nephew, however, found the ocean more refreshing.

These 3 guys had a ball! It was so funny watching them play. My guys are so dark (duh, they’re Chinese!) and my nephew is VERY fair, and as we were watching them run up the beach my sister said, “Hey look! It’s a moving Oreo!” Cracked us all up. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. :)

This is what happens when you apply sunscreen just before the child lays down in the sand. Guess the sand is nearly as effective as a sunscreen. Especially when it covers so well. Fortunately, my twosome didn’t get quite as sandy. They did, however, love flying kites with the big cousins. Overall, it was a wonderful day!

do not become weary

2011-07-12T16:24:00.001-07:00

Speech therapy. Someone jokingly told me before we brought Logan home that I needed to choose a speech therapist I liked because I would spend more time with her than I did with anyone else in my family. Guess what? It’s true. Well…almost. I spend more time with the speech therapist than I do with my biggest guys or my closest friends, that’s for sure!

In July 2008, we started speech therapy. Logan fell instantly in love with his therapist, Tina. She was delightful, and perfect for him. She had high expectations and didn’t waver, even when he didn’t cooperate. She understood him and encouraged him. She took time to ask questions, to learn about him, and to help figure out how his hearing loss was affecting his speech. In short, she was a gem. Logan’s beloved Tina left for maternity leave after 18 months with him. We liked the therapist who filled in just fine but were anxious for Tina to return. Then the therapy center had a change in policy, and ‘chronic’ kids like Logan had their access to continuous therapy restricted to better accommodate the patients on the waiting list. We opted to find a new place for therapy. It was/is too hard for Logan to adjust to a new therapist every 20 sessions. Logan’s new therapist has training in a hands-on method of speech therapy successful for children with apraxia. Logan likes her just fine, but she’s not Tina. :) She works him hard too, but progress has been painfully slow. During the school year, Logan also has speech therapy at the local school. Ellen, his therapist there, is a huge advocate of Logan. She adores him, and he really likes her. Because she has less experience with Logan’s combination of issues (hearing loss, cleft lip/palate, and apraxia) she’s chosen to focus on one aspect of Logan’s difficulties: the grammar and construction. She still works with him on articulation, but her primary focus is grammar and construction. It works well, and I am eternally grateful for Ellen’s time and effort.

About 6 weeks ago, I was researching hearing loss and literacy rates on the internet when I came across something intriguing. Essentially, it’s a program that is like an EEG for the mouth. A specially made ‘retainer’ that is embedded with electrodes plugs into a computer program. With the retainer in the mouth, the electrodes project a graphic of the tongue placement in the mouth. Very fascinating. Complete Speech makes the palatometers and trains speech therapists to use their equipment. (Watch some of their amazing videos here) After a conversation back and forth, we found a therapist who uses their program. We discovered that we can use their home rental program and only see the therapist once a week. Good thing, since it’s 45 miles one way! Man…is this program a work-out.

This new gal is amazing. She’s not Tina, but Logan seems to like her okay, which is nice. We knew Logan had low muscle tone and low core strength. The new speech therapist has helped us to see where Logan is clearly compensating for the things he can’t do. Problem is that his compensations don’t allow for him to physically form some speech sounds. His lack of core strength, his low muscle tone, and his coordination issues combined mean that in some areas we are starting with true basics. Right now, we go to speech on Tuesdays at 11. Therapy is 60 minutes. At the end, Logan is exhausted. He’s so tired he hardly says a single word all the way home. She works him HARD! The rest of the week, we do the homework. What kind of homework? Well, we work on core strength. His daily routine consists of sit ups, v sits and crossover v sits, bicycle sits, jumping on the trampoline, riding his bike, hanging upside down on the monkey bars and trying to sit up, using a straw (without using teeth to hold it or using the whole jaw to create suction), biting on chewy tubes for jaw strength, playing ‘name that tune’ while humming (to work on breathing through the nose instead of the mouth), and, of course, time with the palatometer and the computer. Whew! Some summer vacation we’ve got going.

Therein, though, lies the rub. I’m mom, which generally means chief disciplinarian since I’m the one here most of the time. I’m the teacher-- 1st grade this fall. And now therapy supervisor. Or slave driver, as he would say (if he knew the term!). Where’s the limit? When can I just be plain old mom, the one who plays with and has fun with her guy, instead of being the meany and the teacher and the slave driver? I have a much better understanding of my neighbor’s dilemma a few years ago, when she finally decided she had to remove herself from some of her child’s therapies in order to just be mom. And the other, sometimes harder, question: how do we adjust our expectations to better reflect Logan’s abilities? Are our expectations too high? How far do we lower them? In what areas? How do we decided? What about this thought: If post-stroke apraxia causes issues with the person’s ability to connect thought and actions, what about a child with global apraxia? Do they have the same problem? If so, what does that do to learning? To behavior? To the understanding of cause and effect? The whole mess is so intertwined that it’s very hard to separate out the threads and know what’s best for him. So we lump along, doing the best we can. And we hang on to what we know to be true

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” ~Galatians 6:9

because once in a while it’s the only thing that keeps us going.

Yum

2011-07-07T17:58:00.001-07:00

Guess what’s for dessert tonight? Strawberry shortcake, with these:

fresh from the backyard. Delicious!

sunshine!

2011-07-05T22:29:00.001-07:00

Or how we spent the last few days.

ouch!

2011-07-01T09:27:00.001-07:00

“I’d pay money to see that!” he said with a laugh. “They could sell tickets!”

There was no malice. No evil intent. No hidden agenda to hurt me, just some words. I knew that. But…maybe there was not much thought, either. The words were definitely not carefully chosen. Unintentionally, they hit the mark. And boy did they hurt. Knowing that they weren’t meant to hurt didn’t lessen the pain…

Every insecurity I’ve ever had about myself came flooding to the surface. Every doubt about my ability. Every criticism of my efforts. I started second-guessing myself, decided that I really couldn’t do this, so why bother even trying.

The problem is…I can do it. I know I can. It requires practice, and effort, and stepping outside my comfort zone. I had hoped for encouragement, but it didn’t come. After wallowing in self pity yesterday, I decided that letting the naysayers win again was not a good choice. There are lots of things in my life that I’m good at. Most of them involve doing things for others. This is something I want to do—need to do—for me. So this morning I put on my shoes and got back at it. Will I succeed? Maybe. Maybe not. But I won’t let the negative comments win.

Ironically, or perhaps providentially, the lesson came later, as I was reading Proverbs 18. I came across this verse “The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” (Prov 18: 14) and realized just how ‘on the mark’ those words are. A crushed spirit. It’s an apt description of how I felt. It made me wonder: do I measure my words well? Do the things I say unintentionally crush the spirit of my children? Of those God has put in my life? Am I doing well at putting Ephesians 4:29 into practice (Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up…)? Maybe I need to guard my tongue more carefully.

So today, I will try. Today I will think before I speak. Hopefully, knowing how painful careless words can be will stay with me for a bit, will help me choose carefully. Hopefully I’ll remember long enough to develop a new habit.

How about you? How are your words received?

…and after

2011-06-30T16:52:00.001-07:00

44 jars of jam later, there are no strawberries in my kitchen. At the moment, anyway.

Fortunately, it will be a little bit before my raspberries are ripe and I get to start again.

before…

2011-06-29T13:24:00.001-07:00

Guess what we’re doing today? :)

Hint: I’m listening to jars ‘pop’ as they seal…

recharge

2011-06-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

“If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your oxygen mask first, then assist the other person.”

Recognize that little speech? If you fly, you might. It’s from the pre-flight safety information. It’s been on my mind the last few weeks—and it’s very appropriate for moms. Most of us give and give and give, often to the point of near burn-out. But rather than speak up and say something about our need, we keep going, frequently snapping at our husbands and lashing out at our children. Why do we do this?? Before we hit that point, we need to take time to recharge. After 20+ years of parenting, I”m finally starting to recognize the signs that I need some space. A bit ago, I knew the time was coming, and after checking the calendar, I blocked out a weekend for me. All by myself. With Jim’s blessing, of course. :)

Yesterday, I packed my bag and said goodbye. I drove up the road a bit and checked into a hotel. It’s not the physical distance that’s a big deal, it’s the mental and emotional space. I have thoroughly enjoyed myself! Walks in the park, a trip to the fabric store, time to read, a nice hot bath—doing some things to replenish my reserves. I don’t think I realized just how low they had become until I checked in yesterday. On Thursday morning, I had coffee with a very wise friend (who shares her wisdom on an incredible blog!). Brenda has been in my shoes as a homeschooling mom with a child who has learning issues. She shared something that helped her out as she walked this path: a quarterly weekend away. Not far, not fancy, but an opportunity to make sure that mom is able to refocus and recharge. I shared that bit of wisdom with Jim, and his response was “Start putting it on the calendar!” I love it!! What a great guy. :)

One more night away for me. I am loving the peace and quiet, the uninterrupted reading time, the time to think and pray. I’m jazzed about the fabric I bought for some quilts I get to make. I’m getting some things done too, things that weigh on me over the summer. As I check them off, it feels so good! Although I am not ready to head back to the reality of life yet, I’m pretty sure that tomorrow I’ll be happy to see my crew.

In the meantime, I’m off to read, relax, and recharge. Catch you later!

blown away—an answer to the prayer request!

2011-06-22T21:59:00.001-07:00

It’s been a long haul. Some days, I’ve been ready to give up, to walk away, to say “Never mind. We’ll just take care of this ourselves.” But God has been gently pushing us to continue in the fight, so we have. This afternoon, the battle is over. Victory is ours…or, more appropriately, God’s. And Logan’s.

As you know, Logan gets speech therapy from our school district. He’s there 45 minutes a week. His speech therapist is awesome, and she loves Logan. We’ve tried many things to get him the assistive technology he needs, but until May, when he qualified for more therapy, there wasn’t any way to do that. Then, pieces started coming together. We had Logan’s motor skills tested, to make sure that he was staying on track. He’s not. He qualified for occupational therapy (OT) for his fine motor skills. It was just the opening we needed. His IEP needed to be rewritten, and could be done to include the necessity of the FM system. (He’s used a loaner from the local hospital, but it had to go back.) So we did that. Included a letter from his audiologist stating that he needs this FM system for full academic use, including time at home. And the school district employee responsible for making that decision balked. (You can read about that here) We wrote her a polite, respectful letter, delineating the portions of federal law that required her to take the IEP team’s recommendation under careful consideration instead of dismissing it outright. We didn’t win any friends.

But, apparently, persistence and prayer pay off. She knew we were right, and started requesting strange pieces of information, things she already had in her possession. Each time, we responded politely with “That’s on page x of document y.” In the meantime, the system was ordered, and our SLP picked it up and tucked it away in her office. Today, the phone rang as I was fixing dinner. It was the SLP, and her first question was “Are you sitting down? I have approval for Logan to have the FM system at home for the summer!” Tomorrow, we will stop by the elementary school in the neighborhood and pick it up. Tomorrow, we will plug it in and get it charged. Tomorrow, we will start using it. Tomorrow, Logan will have more access to language.

There aren’t words to describe the joy. I finished fixing dinner with tears of gratitude on my face. God, ever faithful, has again shown His great love to a child and a family. Logan is in complete awe that God has answered his prayer. And he cannot wait to start using his new FM system.

Even better? It’s just in time for a new adventure. Stay tuned…Logan’s going to spend the summer using technology to help with his speech therapy too. He starts on Tuesday. And I can’t wait. If it can do half of what it appears to be able to do, this could be a life-changing summer for our little guy.

perspective

2011-06-22T09:10:00.001-07:00

hiking with Daddy…one of the best things ever!

Sometimes it takes a change to appreciate what you have. Yesterday, I was blessed with that opportunity.

Summers are different these days. Brent and Hailey don’t live at home any more, so I try hard to not take their visits for granted. Brent was here last week, and it was so wonderful! I love having him here, and am happy to say that when he left, the visit felt far too short. That’s a good thing—I don’t ever want to feel like I can’t wait for him to leave. No worries there…it was perfect having him back in the house for a bit. It is nice to see him and have him around, and good to see that he truly is a capable adult, managing life on his own quite nicely. Hailey lives closer so we see her more often, but her visits are a few hours here and a few hours there. That works too. She’s doing quite well, and is also a capable adult. Rewarding to see. :) Em is home for the summer, working lots and spending time with friends. It feels more like she’s just here for the bed, and that’s okay. She’s also an adult, and it’s delightful relating to her as one. Tori lives here but has had a packed schedule so far this summer. She’s doing volleyball camp this week—out at 7:30 in the morning and home again around 5. That generally leaves me home with the dynamic duo.

Not so yesterday. Monday evening after work, Hailey stopped by with a grand plan. She invited Ryan and Logan to her apartment for a sleepover. They were excited beyond measure, and ran upstairs to pack. Swim trunks? Check. Towel? Check. Shorts and t-shirts? Check. PJs, tootbrushes, pillows, stuffed animals? Check. Bicycles and helmets? Check. Hey—wait a minute. Exactly how long are they staying??

They left Monday night about 8pm, and came back Tuesday night around 7:30. They were exhausted. And happy. Oh my goodness. They had an incredible time with their big sister. And they cannot wait to go again. They want to know the next time Hailey doesn’t have to work…they’re already planning their next adventure.

And the perspective thing? Well, occasionally I think about how life would be without those two little boys. Once in a great while, it sounds nice to not have two 6 year olds around. Then they were gone. All day. And Jim was at work. And Em was at work. And Tori was at volleyball. And me? I was at a complete loss by noon. I had cleaned house, done laundry, been grocery shopping, gone for a walk, read a book…and didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I realized over the day that without those two little guys, I would be a mess. Some days they drive me nuts, but they are such a huge blessing! Recognizing the joy they bring, the purpose the provide was very necessary for this old tired mom. And while I may still grumble on occasion, I have a renewed sense of gratefulness for their presence in our lives.

Maybe, just maybe, that realization is a better gift than the time off.

prayer needed

2011-06-21T14:57:00.001-07:00

Logan’s FM system is sitting in the office at his school speech therapist’s, just waiting for us to come get it! And why haven’t we? Because the gal at the district office who must sign off on the request to have the assistive technology at home refuses to do so. :( Please pray for a change of heart, that she would see the need and have compassion on Logan and his needs. And, that she would read and understand that state and federal law prohibit her from refusing the request of the IEP team simply because we homeschool. :) There is no cost associated with Logan using the FM system at home over the summer—we sign a form accepting all responsibility and liability for the items—and to deny him is just flat out wrong. I think she’s not happy with us because we carefully, respectfully pointed out the portions of state and federal law that allow us to make the request and spell out the grounds under which our request can be denied. (And there aren’t any!) Some days I can’t understand why this is such a big deal—I mean really, hearing is a basic function of communication, and she’s okay with denying him that. Even though federal law spells out specifically that assistive technology needs to be available outside school hours for the deaf/hard of hearing population if they need it for communication!

PLEASE pray for a change of heart and a quick reply!! Logan starts an exciting new speech therapy next week, and being able to actually hear what he’s doing would help immeasurably.

decisions, decisions

2011-06-14T16:30:00.001-07:00

Life is full of decisions. Most are boring, everyday decisions that can be made without much effort (what’s for dinner? laundry before or after the trip to the store?), but there are the bigger ones that can be more difficult. We’ve just come through a spell of more difficult one (repair or replace? stand firm or walk away? hold or sell? step out or stay the course? drive or move?) and I’m very grateful that, for a short spell at least, it is behind us.

I don’t think I realized just how much I was being affected by all the stuff hanging over us. Once most of the decisions were made, it was like an invisible weight had been lifted, one I hadn’t been conscious of carrying. When it was gone, though, the relief was evident! And it made me wonder: why is it that I cannot do what God asks in Matthew 6:25-34?

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grows. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more cloth you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (emphasis mine)

Whew. Pretty clear, isn’t it? And the funny thing is that I’m not typically a worrier. I just don’t—there’s no point. If I’m not in charge of it, there’s no point in wasting the time and energy. Someone else is responsible for the decision. And if it’s my decision? Well, then, I make it and move on. But for some reason…maybe the number, or the gravity, or the combination…this time they got the best of me. I worried. But it didn’t help. All it did is make me grumpy. Now, though, we’re through it. The decisions are (mostly) made. Next time, I hope to remember that my job is to pray and to trust. God’s job is to provide. It’s really that simple.

**Oh. Those decision? Well…let’s see: Repair or replace? Repair. Successfully. A huge relief. And an answered prayer! Stand firm or walk away? Stand firm, for now. It’s not only about us, but about charting a path for those who come behind, in this case. And we are seeing God move! Hold or sell? Yes. Hold one item, sell the other. For now, anyway. We are praying for God’s timing on the second sale. It all belongs to Him anyway! Step out or stay the course? Stay the course. This was probably the hardest. I’d like to step out, but we need to be of one accord in this venture, and we’re not. So stay the course it is. My heart aches, but God knows my desires. I will trust His timing! And drive or move? Well…drive, for now. Moving is likely in our future, but at this point—for at least the next year—we’re staying here. That works for me. I love this house. And if or when it’s time to move? Well, then, we’ll look to see where God would have us. And we’ll probably need to revisit most of these decisions. Won’t that be fun? :\

Wiggle Worship

2011-06-13T19:08:00.001-07:00

Excited to be there…

and NOT excited to be there…

Pretty typical of the two of them. It was fun to be there, even if Ryan stood most of the evening with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. Brought back memories of watching my other boy do Wiggle Worship many years ago. Same scowl. Same crossed arms. Same child? Maybe. But they’re 16 years apart…

They did have fun though.

soccer camp

2011-06-13T19:04:00.001-07:00

telephone survey

2011-06-11T09:24:00.001-07:00

Last night the phone rang as I was fixing dinner. I answered it, and after a long pause, a male voice says he’s conducting a brief public opinion survey about politics and asks the first question. Phone surveys are not my favorite thing, but when I’m trying to do other things I really dislike them. I wasn’t thrilled that he presumed I would be delighted to participate and jumped right in to the first question… Then he asked the first question:

“If the legislative election was held today, would you vote Republican or Democrat?”

My answer? “I would vote for the candidate whose position on the issues most closely represented mine.” I didn’t realize I was throwing a curveball! He had NO IDEA what to do with that. He stuttered and stammered for a minute, then said, “But would you vote Republican or Democrat?” I calmly repeated my answer. Flustered, he asked me to hang on for a moment. I could hear him asking questions of a supervisor. Then he returned, and said, “Well, okay. Let’s try a new question.”

“If the presidential election was held today, would you vote Republican or Democrat?”

Guess what I answered? :) (You know where this is going, don’t you?) Yep. Same answer I had given to the last 2 questions. After a moment of dumbfounded silence, he took a deep breath and said “That’s all the questions I have for you. Thank you for your time. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

Please! Tell me that the future of this country is more important that the party affiliation after a candidate’s name. Or is that too much to ask? Is society really so unthinking??? I think I’m discouraged.

available…

2011-06-10T09:37:00.001-07:00

One or two—your choice!—grumpy, cranky, argumentative 6 year olds. Or, if you prefer, their tired-of-refereeing mother.

Only 3 more hours til they go to soccer camp for the afternoon…

life

2011-06-06T10:35:00.001-07:00

Clearly, I cannot prepare my children for every possible situation they will encounter in life. For those things, it is my hope and prayer that they have enough resources and enough common sense to figure out a solution to the problem facing them. Today, I’m not exactly feeling like I succeeded…

Fortunately, the problem was relatively insignificant, and the solution fairly straightforward. Next time, this particular child should be able to walk through it alone. But then…we hope there ISN’T a next time. :\

2011-06-02T21:32:00.001-07:00

I was reading 2 Corinthians 4 today. Some of it wasn’t very pretty… How about this? “Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.” (verse 1) We don’t lose heart? Yeah, right. I know this ministry is through God’s mercy, but I have lost heart. I’m discouraged. I’m tired. I’m ready to quit. Why is it that knowing this ministry—these boys, the special needs, the homeschooling—is through God’s mercy doesn’t seem to help? Epic fail, and I’m only at verse 1.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” (verse 7) Uh huh. Treasures. What treasures? I sure don’t feel like a treasure, and I’m fairly certain that I am nowhere near as strong as a jar of clay. And them? Today has not been a day that makes me think of them as treasures. Frankly, most of the week has been like this. All-surpassing power? What all-surpassing power? I’ve been so focused on the basics of survival that I can’t seem to see God’s power. Maybe it’s time to quit looking at them and start looking at Him…

“Therefore we do not lose heart.” (verse 16a) Who am I kidding? I’ve lost heart. Entirely. It’s gone. I’m done with this. I can’t any more, God. It’s too hard. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (verse 17) Light and momentary? It sure doesn’t feel light and momentary. It’s heavy and all-consuming, and it feels like there are very few answers to all the questions. Moderately severe hearing loss. Apraxia. Cleft lip and palate. Vestibular defect. Auditory processing dysfunction. All those pieces add up to one huge, complex, sometimes overwhelming trouble. And then there’s the other one, the child who has night terrors most nights, who hasn’t slept through the night by himself but maybe a dozen times since he came home almost 6 years ago. Afraid of the dark, terrified of being abandoned again, nighttime is crazy scary. Some days are better, but I still spend most nights in his room…sharing his double bed so we get something that resembles sleep. It gets old. I get tired. And it makes everything seem even more overwhelming, less light and momentary.

Then, at the end, there’s hope. Verse 18…”So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” This stuff, the overwhelming everyday stuff of life…that’s the seen. I can’t focus on it. I have to keep my focus on what I know to be true instead of what I see every day. And what is it that I know? I know that these two boys are a blessing. That their presence in our lives is a gift. That they are stretching us in ways we never dreamed of. We’ve learned things we didn’t know we needed to know, things we didn’t care about before. We’ve become fairly good at advocating to meet their needs. We’ve been humbled as we are now parenting a child for whom none of our ‘tried-and-true’ parenting methods work. We are reminded daily to stop and smell the roses. We see clearly that life goes by too quickly, that we need to be purposeful and deliberate about the things we do. And we need to stress less and enjoy more.

Tonight, I’m pondering the end of 2 Corinthians 4. My head knows that it is through God’s mercy I have this ministry, these boys. My heart needs to remember that. My heart needs to focus on His blessing, His strength. I need to fix my eyes on the unseen, on the author and the finisher of my faith (Heb 12:2). And when I do, then I enjoy this adventure.

After all, as a friend so aptly stated, “Life is an adventure in itself, so we might as well hang on for the ride and make the most of it.” Good plan. :)

early morning phone call

2011-05-31T17:35:00.001-07:00

My phone rang this morning at 7:00. That’s not early for me—I am up by 5:30 most mornings—but it is early for the phone. Always seems to shake me up a bit when it rings that early. This morning? No big deal. Actually, the call was good for a smile.

It was Brent. (That always gets a smile!) He said, “Hey Momma! I wanted to let you know that I”m going hiking in the woods today and tomorrow. If I get eaten by a bear, know that I love you.” Classic Brent!

I laughed. Not exactly what I expected, but then again, phone calls from my college kids rarely are. That’s a good thing. They’re making their own lives, and they are not settling into boring predictable ways yet. But hiking in the woods? Bears? And telling me at 7AM? (Yes, I’d been up for a long time and was through the shower, but that doesn’t mean my brain was fully engaged yet!) After assuring me he wasn’t going alone, he agreed to text me tomorrow afternoon to let me know he’d made it back to civilization safely.

Hey. If you’re gonna tell momma that you’re hiking with the bears, you gotta accept the fact that she wants to know you’re back safely.

8,415 so far

2011-05-27T09:34:00.001-07:00

Victoria has 9 days of school left this year—6 full days and 3 half days. That means that there are 6 more days this year that I get to pack her lunch, 9 more mornings to fix her coffee. And only one more year after that.

As I stood in the kitchen this morning making her sandwich, I did a little math. It looked like this:

(3 x 165 x 13) + (165 x 12) = 8,415

The 3 represents my college kids, who now make their own school lunches. 165 is for the average number of lunches I make in a school year, estimated by including absences and occasions where they didn’t need lunch (which is not often since they have attended schools without lunch programs) and the 13 is for the number of years from K to 12th grade. The (165 x 12) is for Victoria, since she still has her senior year ahead of her. And I realized: that’s a lot of sack lunches! (It does not take into account the years of Tuesday mornings at church where they have taken their lunches.)

It’s a labor of love. I don’t mind doing it, and although we joke about what a disaster zone my kitchen would be after they all were done making lunch, I have done it more because I care. Talking at dinner the other night, it became clear that the message was delivered loud and clear. Emily just finished her first year in college and has moved back home for the summer. At dinner, I shared the story of a friend (an acquaintance at the time of the conversation) who was APPALLED that I would make lunches for my children. “You’re spoiling them. They’re old enough to do that themselves. They’ll never amount to anything!” she said. Em’s immediate response was to remind me that they all know how to make a lunch, but it never tastes quite the same when they pack it themselves. “Mom, the love is missing if I pack my own. It tastes so much better when you pack it.” she said.

Hmmmm…mission accomplished. Never underestimate the power of the little things.

a funny story

2011-05-26T17:42:00.001-07:00

I’ve had a couple of emails from people wondering if everything is okay. (It is. Too much to do, not enough time to finish it all.) Apparently, after posting for 30 straight days, I’ve set some sort of precedent that I am now failing to meet! :) So Teresa…this is for you.

Pati is my next door neighbor. She’s a great gal. A mom of 2 grown sons, she adores our little guys and often brings them special treats left over from her job (she’s a flight attendant). The boys, in turn, adore her and can’t wait to spend time helping her in the yard or just visiting. It’s a perfect match. Pati’s folks are getting older and they aren’t driving any more, so she’s spending more and more time chauffeuring them to the doctor and the store. Monday night, she shared this gem:

“I’d picked up Mom and Dad, and we headed into town for their doctor visits. Took hours. I needed to stop at Costco, but I took them home first because I wanted to whip through the store and they don’t ‘whip’ anywhere these days. When I got to Costco, I ended up behind the slowest old lady I have EVER seen. I was behind her every single aisle! Just couldn’t get around her at all. And of course, it was ‘sample time’ at the store, and she had to stop at EVERY SINGLE TABLE to have a bite. Couldn’t park her cart out of the way, of course. Finally, I’d had it. We were nearly to the end of the store, and once again there was a sample table in front of us. She parked her cart crosswise in the aisle and proceeded to head toward the food. “Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!” I called. No response. I took a deep breath, parked my cart off to the side, and grabbed hers. I pushed it down the aisle, around the corner, and into the dairy cold room. Came back, grabbed my cart, and finished my shopping. At a much more reasonable pace.”

We nearly died laughing! I’ve known Pati for over 17 years, and I have a hard time seeing her doing this. But, I understand the frustration of walking behind shoppers out for a leisurely afternoon. C’mon people! Some of us have better things to do than move at a snail’s pace all afternoon. I don’t have any problem working around you and I am not bothered in the least by your pace, but please—stay to the right! My poor boys hear that many times each trip to the store. So often, in fact, that now they ask, '”Hey Mom? Why are those guys not keeping right when they shop?” Heh. Out of the mouths of babes…

(And a humorous aside. As I said, we’ve lived next door to Pati for over 17 years. Standing in the street facing our houses, Pati’s house is on the right, mine is on the left. My parents live about 15 miles away. They’ve lived there for probably 10 years. I’m not really sure. Anyway, at least 6 years ago they got new neighbors. We all laughed when it happened, because the couple who moved in to the house on the right of them? Yep. Pati’s mom and dad. So now, our children can visit Grammy and Papa (my parents) and Grandma Kay and Grandpa Harold (Pati’s parents) all at the same time. It’s fun.)

outward? or inward?

2011-05-22T21:26:00.001-07:00

Living, He loved me

Dying, He saved me

Buried, He carried my sins far away

Rising, He justified freely forever

One day He’s coming

Oh glorious day

~Glorious Day by Casting Crowns

This is probably my all-time favorite song right now. Sung by Casting Crowns, it’s remake of an old hymn. “One Day” was written about 1908, but the words remain as true and powerful today as they were then. They make me reflect on who God is, not on who I am or what I can do. It is a nice change from the typical ‘worship’ songs we sing today. I read this blog by John Holzmann from Sonlight Curriculum, about today’s worship music, and I realized that he puts into words—much more eloquent words!—exactly what I’ve been feeling but unable to express.

Today’s been a pretty inglorious day here. My Suburban is on it’s last legs (or so it seems) and we’ve spent countless hours looking at cars, discussing cars, driving cars, and negotiating deals. No dice. What to do? How to decide? After a very long day, we came home and discovered that the laptop now has a virus. Like I said…it’s been a rather inglorious day. But listening to Casting Crowns sing Glorious Day has helped me refocus on what’s really important. For that I am grateful.

And, when my focus changes to the things I am grateful for instead of the irritations of the day (or weekend), it’s amazing to see just how many blessings there are in my world. Sure, my car doesn’t run, but the others do. And it’s served us incredibly well for 13 years! The issues with the Suburban happened now rather than 6 months ago or 12 months ago, when we would have been hard pressed to do anything. It’s not going to be a cakewalk to replace it, but we see God’s provision every day and even something as ‘petty’ as my car is not outside His care. My parents graciously, willingly lent us their truck for now. (Thanks Dad!!) My family is healthy and happy. The sun has been shining. The boys are finished with school this week, the girls a few weeks later. And that list just scratches the surface!

Focus…outward, on God’s grace? Or inward, on my efforts? Outward is DEFINITELY the better choice!

a great day!

2011-05-20T15:43:00.001-07:00

See?

Please note the different methods of crossing the creek!

Now…watch Logan in this next sequence of 4:

And…SPLASH! You guessed it. He ended up in the water. :\ Good thing it was nice out.

It was a great day!

this blog temporarily interrupted for…good weather?

2011-05-20T06:55:00.001-07:00

Sorry…the weather here is simply too nice to sit inside and blog! We’ve had sunshine for 4 consecutive days (a heavenly change from the near constant rain we’ve endured this winter), and today it is even supposed to hit 70°. Since the last 70°+ day we had was November 3, we are going to spend today playing! A picnic at the lake and a hike are on today’s agenda, after we finish planting our garden. We HAVE to enjoy the sun today—rain is back in our forecast for the next week. Yuck. At least it will be warmer rain.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll take pictures. Then again, I just might be too busy having fun for that. We’ll see. :)

well…

2011-05-19T07:22:00.001-07:00

Things went just as expected. The school district approved our request for an FM system but denied us the opportunity to take it home, based solely on the fact that we homeschool. WRONG answer! Try again…

The federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA of 2004) CLEARLY states in part B, section 300.105 (b) that “the use of school-purchased assistive technology devices in a child's home or in other settings is required if the child's IEP Team determines that the child needs access to those devices in order to receive FAPE.” (FAPE is Free Appropriate Public Education) . His IEP team determined that this child needs access to the device to receive FAPE, yet they denied the request, in part because he is not a student of the district.

Yes, we homeschool. But Washington State Administrative Code equally clear on the use of assistive technology in the home (WAC 392-172A-02015(2)) and the Revised Code of Washington allows homeschooling (RCW 28A.225.010(4)) and defines homeschooled students who access courses or ancillary services from the school district (allowed in this state by law—RCW 28A.150.350) as ‘part time students.’ In addition, the school district is reimbursed for the courses and/or ancillary services they provide to Logan according to the portion of the day/week he attends school. So they get money for providing his services.

Our school district does not have an audiologist as part of their staff. Instead, they contract for services with another school district, or they can choose to pay for a private evaluation by a pediatric audiologist should the family ask. (This is the 4th largest school district in the state! But they don’t provide audiology services…) We’ve not asked them to provide a private evaluation, and, as a matter of fact, we have shared his reports from his evaluations freely as they clearly demonstrate his need for assistive technology. In addition, we have a letter from his pediatric audiologist directly stating that 1) Logan needs assistive technology in the form of an FM system, as hearing aids do not help him; and 2) he needs access to the FM system for FULL ACADEMIC USE. Excuse me? A school district without an audiologist is going to blow off the recommendation of a specialist in the field on the (flimsy and irrelevant) grounds that we homeschool? I don’t think so! Logan NEEDS the FM system at home—he has difficulty accessing language without help! His construction and syntax lag far behind, due in large part to his inability to clearly hear spoken language. When he asks a question, it frequently comes out “Where that is?” or “How old Nick is?” or “What doing?” He struggles with the basics of math because he cannot distinguish between similar words like “forty” and “fourteen” or “fifty” and “fifteen.” He has difficulty with phonics—“b” and “p” sound very similar; as a result he has trouble telling whether the word is ‘cap’ or ‘cab.’ He can’t tell whether I said ‘ban’ or ‘pan,’ doesn’t hear the ‘z’ sound used to make words plural (like in ‘houses’), and can’t distinguish between the past tense endings on words because he doesn’t hear the difference between the ‘t” sound (in "’dropped’) and the ‘ed’ sound in ‘played'.’ There are probably hundreds of other word pairs he struggles with, but those examples are sufficient. The child does NOT have full access to language!! And the school district seems to think that the provision of an FM system for use at school—45 minutes a week—constitutes full access to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE)? I just don’t think so!! How exactly does denying him access to language in his approximately 5,835 waking minutes per week and providing it 45 waking minutes per week work in his favor? His IEP is almost exclusively language based—the articulation (pronounciation, which he also struggles with) is taken care of by his private speech therapist. She has specialized training in working with cleft kids and in patients with apraxia, both of which are issues for Logan.

Ugh. Can you tell I’m a bit torqued?? There WILL be a letter addressed to the school district, written today. It will cover all these points. And it may ask a very awkward question. The goal of our school district, published prominently under their name in their logo, states “Successfully Prepare All Students For Their Future.” The question? “Should your goal more appropriately read ‘successfully prepare some/selected/chosen students for their future’ since you are clearly not interested in helping prepare OUR student as you are required to by law?”

Prayers welcomed. :)

He did it!

2011-05-13T15:36:00.001-07:00

Logan passed a MAJOR hurdle this week. He combined 3 sounds in a cvc format (consonant/vowel/consonant) and read his very first word. His first 8 words, actually. Bat. Mat. Cat. Hat. Sat. Nat. Pat. And rock. (Yes, I know—’rock’ doesn’t fit the word list or the pattern. Don’t ask…) We’re pretty excited here. :)

I have to say…after a very rough start last fall and many many ‘tearing my hair out’ days when it seemed that we would NEVER get there, passing this mark is an amazing thing. He struggles so hard to put everything together, and the light in his eyes when it all came together for him was worth every lost hair. I don’t expect to see progress come in giant steps from this point forward, but that’s okay. He’s a ‘slow and steady’ kind of learner. We’ve already decided that we’ve worked too hard all year to lose anything during a traditional summer vacation, so school here will continue on a light schedule 3 days a week for most of the summer. I’m not necessarily thrilled about it (I’d like a break!) but I can’t argue with the reasoning, so summer school it is.

And another hurdle was passed this week too. It’s not quite as much fun but it’s every bit as important. Logan’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) was rewritten last Friday. He’s qualified for Occupational Therapy (OT) as well as speech. He’ll see Leslie once a week for 30 minutes, tacked on to the end of his weekly speech sessions. That’s a good thing, but the best news is that his new IEP includes ‘accommodations’ for assistive technology, otherwise known as a request for the school system to purchase Logan an FM system for his personal academic use. We should have an answer early next week; I can’t imagine they’ll turn it down since federal law is VERY clear in the district’s responsibility to provide the equipment. The recommendation comes from his pediatric audiologist, who pointed out that he’s already had hearing aids and they don’t help. There are no other options for him…and he needs to hear to have access to language. We just muddle through right now. That may all change soon. There aren’t words to tell you how excited I am by the prospect: my little guy won’t have to struggle so much to hear the difference between similar words like forty and fourteen and for the first time ever he’ll have regular ‘access’ to many sounds in the English language that the rest of us take for granted. Sounds like ‘z’ and ‘v’ and ‘m’ and ‘n’ and ‘b’ and ‘p.’ That’s HUGE. It has the potential to make my job as teacher so much easier and his job as student much more enjoyable.

Things are settling in to a new normal with Emily home from school. I’m still trying to work around all the new stuff in the house…while I will miss my children when they finally move out completely, I will NOT miss this stage of ‘move-in, move-out’ and leave all sorts of things at Mom and Dad’s every time. Makes decluttering home an interesting task, to say the least. We’re still learning how to juggle more drivers than vehicles and more places to be than cars to get there. Someday soon I hope we get a handle on things…

In the meantime, I’m going to sit back and enjoy time with Em, Logan’s incredible progress, and the last 8 days of Kindergarten for my dynamic duo.

of moving day, Swedish Fish, and vocab lessons

2011-05-06T08:50:00.001-07:00

One advantage of having to help move your sister home from college 300 miles away is that you get to spend time in the pool before you go help pack her things:

They had a ball swimming Wednesday night, which is good, since apparently all of Emily’s things multiplied while she was gone last year, and packing her stuff to come home was quite the adventure. The boys, sitting in the back seat of the Suburban, were almost totally isolated from the driver and front seat passenger…

But they were pretty good sports about it. Ryan’s not sitting in his car seat in this picture, but Logan is. Ryan should be back that far as well. The space between us? FILLED with boxes and bags. And the space behind them too. We had to lift them over the stuff so that they could crawl into their seats…and they both had stuff under (and on!) their feet all the way home too.

My terri___ (-fic or –ble, insert appropriate ending) twosome doesn’t travel as well as they did last year. Hard to believe that it’s only been 11 months since our epic road trip to San Diego. I spent much of the time trying to referee spats from the driver’s seat and fielding the age-old question of small travelers: "Are we there yet?” I didn’t hear that at all on our trip to San Diego; I think I heard it every 23 minutes for the entire 5 hour drive each direction this time. Not fun. I even had a new experience, something I’ve never had to do in 22 years of parenting. I had to stop the car on the side of the road to discipline a child. Never done that before, hope I never have to do it again. Good thing I had plenty of these with me:

since I needed something to help retain my sanity on this trip! Oy. Sadly, the bag is almost gone, if that gives you any idea of how many ‘sanity savers’ were needed…

And vocab lessons? Well, the boys learned something about each of these terms on this trip:

mirage (“Why is there water on the road, Mommy?” “It’s not water, it’s a mirage…”)
refraction (“I see a rainbow! Can you see it?” No, because the refraction is different--light is hitting that CD at a different angle for me than for you.”)
crop duster (“What is that airplane doing? It’s going to crash!”)
biplane (“Why does that plane have 2 sets of wings?”
tilling (“What are they doing out there in that field? What’s it called when they turn the dirt over like that? Are they getting ready to plant?”)
wastewater treatment plant (“Look! A swimming pool! Can I go swimming there?”)
sewage (see above…)

Yep. Vocabulary, geography, PE, geometry (how to get all of Em’s stuff in the car), and character development/self control. All in a 30 hour trip. I think I will count that as a successful school day.

big day

2011-05-04T08:20:00.001-07:00

Today is Hailey’s 20th birthday. That alone makes it a big day, but we’ve got more on the calendar! Things like

school (only 3 weeks left!!)
laundry (of course)
clean house
prep dinner for tonight and set aside Jim’s and Tori’s lunches for tomorrow
pack
drive across the state
pack up Emily and bring her home

Where does the time go? Not only is Hailey 20 today but today is Em’s last final as a college freshman! It seems like only last week that we were packing up a teary girl to take her to school. Now she’s finished with her first year, ready to spend the summer and home, and excited about her classes for next fall.

After what seems like a million trips to Pullman in the last year (it’s only been 8 in 10 months), we’ll be taking a bit of a break. Finished on Hailey’s birthday, Emily returns to Pullman on her own birthday. Somehow, that seems fitting.

Now, to check off that list. See you later!

a little ‘light’ reading

2011-05-02T14:11:00.001-07:00

A handful of the books I’ve been reading lately. (Jim and I were laughing yesterday about the fact that pretty soon this child will have an entire shelf for books devoted to his special needs! Hey—you can laugh, or you can cry…) Not necessarily the most entertaining titles, for sure, but I’ve learned lots. Quite frankly, some days I’d love not needing to know this stuff! But if we’re going to succeed with this child, then we’ll have to do our homework. I love each of his therapists, but with as many varied issues as we have, I’d love to find just 1 person who could help us untangle this web.

When we chose to adopt, we knew that special needs were part of the package. When we chose to adopt a child with a known medical need, we knew that surgery and speech therapy were in our future for sure, and that other therapy needs were possible. We didn’t anticipate a child with a known special need that was virtually a non-issue, but with a whole host of unknown special needs instead. On occasion it gets me down. Not so much for us as for him—he’s a delightful little boy trying his best to work through an intractable list of nearly overwhelming special needs (that are mostly solution-less, or so it seems). We can’t ‘fix’ his needs; instead we are doing our best to teach him adequate compensatory skills. Today, watching him struggle with the basics of communication (syntax and grammar as well as hearing and articulation) and coordination (things like not falling off the chair, and gross and fine motor skills), I feel like a failure. No matter how much I learn, it doesn’t seem to answer the big question: how to help. How to find the key to unlock this puzzle.

It is a learning process. I have no choice but to trust that God doesn’t make mistakes. He chose this child for our family, and apparently we have what it takes to be his parents. I’m not so sure. For now, we are gaining great insight into II Corinthians 4:7-9:

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

Treasure? You bet! Jar of clay? For sure. Hard-pressed? Yes. Crushed? Nope. Perplexed? Absolutely!! Despairing? No way. Persecuted? Well…not really. Not much, anyway. Or not yet. We see potential for him because of his needs. Abandoned? Never. Struck down? Feeling that way. Destroyed? No.

Hanging on to hope…God’s hope. Mine’s pretty trashed at the moment.

Guess what we’re doing this weekend?

2011-05-01T16:45:00.001-07:00

Birthday weather (not a great picture, but note the sunshine!)

Birthday girl (May 4) and birthday boyfriend (April 27)

Birthday cake. Yum.

Yep. Celebrating a birthday. Again. Hailey is the third birthday here in 15 days. (Alec, her boyfriend, fits in nicely. He was 21 on April 27. He and Brent share a birthday; he’s between Brent and Hailey age-wise.) She turns 20 on Wednesday but because she has to work Wednesday and one of us has to go bring Emily home from WSU, we’re celebrating tonight. The menu? Marinated flank steak, twice baked potatoes, Caesar salad, and toffee angel food cake. Her choice. She’ll get presents sometime later, since they aren’t here yet. In the meantime, we’re enjoying the gift of glorious sunshine to celebrate her special day.

I did it!

2011-04-30T22:19:00.001-07:00

I did it! When I first thought about taking M3’s 30 day challenge, I wasn’t sure I could do it. Our lives are just not that interesting! But I decided to jump in with both feet, and I’m glad I did. It was fun, but more than that it was a challenge accomplished. Some days (and some seasons of life) that alone is worth celebrating. :)

I took some deep breaths and posted personal things that left me potentially vulnerable (living—life on life; reading it again, for the first time; hmmm…; Who am I?) and several that explored the realities of homeschooling a special needs child (apraxia…again; 3 steps forward; not a typical Friday). There have been glimpses into life with 6 children, and into life as the parent of 3 college students. It’s been fun. I don’t know that it will continue like this every month, but I intend to make an effort to post more regularly. We’ll see. May starts off with a bang this week, and I won’t even be around to post every day. Such is life.

May. New adventures. College students returning home for the summer. The end of a successful homeschooling year of Kindergarten. Hopefully the beginning of spring in Seattle (finally!!). All sorts of opportunities. I can’t wait to see what it brings! Check back and join us. We’re looking forward to having you come along.

hmmm…

2011-04-29T20:17:00.001-07:00

I think I like this. Then again, I tend to think too much. :)

not a typical Friday

2011-04-29T15:30:00.001-07:00

It’s amazing what a few minutes of sunshine can do. The boys are so happy to be able to be outside in their sandpile, working on their ‘volcano.’ They LOVE digging in the dirt…

It’s been an interesting day…. Our big guys have all attended a small Christian school in the area, and this morning an email came across my desk. “Please pray for the high school choir director and his family,” it said. “His 26 year old son died unexpectedly last night, and they are grieving hard.” I can’t even begin to imagine the pain. Shortly after that, I learned that one of the young Army men injured last night in Afghanistan in an IED incident is a young man from our church. I’ve known Spencer’s aunts and his grandmother for nearly 20 years, I’ve worked with his mom for the last few years on Tuesday mornings, and he and his sister are the ages of some of my children. More heartache, and then some relief. Spencer is doing well—spent time in the hospital being observed but will be released back to active duty soon—but I don’t know if a mom or a grandma ever fully recovers from that. I know what my heart did on hearing the news and recognizing that it could have been MY son injured in that kind of circumstance. I am grateful to Spencer and the other young men and women who serve our country so faithfully. I have a new level of appreciation for their sacrifices, and for their families. And I am grateful(?) for a career-ending knee injury for my own son, who reluctantly left the Marine Corps last fall, even as I recognize the “adventurer” streak in him and know that he has given serious consideration to re-enlisting.

After watching the (beautiful!) royal wedding this morning, I had an IEP reevaluation meeting for Logan. Bright and early we went down the road to school, the boys carrying their Leapsters in one hand and cold cereal in a baggie in the other. It’s hard to find someone to watch small children at 8 in the morning! The reevaluation went well, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that Logan has qualified for more services. He' will continue with his speech and language therapy, but we’ll be adding occupational therapy to work on his fine motor and visual discrimination skills. The good news in all this? We get to write a new IEP, which means that we can finally address his need for assistive technology! Logan NEEDS an FM system, and we’ve been working on getting one for him for many months. Now we’ll be able to write it into his IEP and, theoretically at least, should have one for him to use soon. While we finished the necessary paperwork to schedule the IEP meeting, I had a chance to visit with the OT. She’s new to the school and very young. She had lots of questions about the boys, and we had a great conversation about adoption and homeschooling. I think she was surprised by the things I knew about Logan and the things I have learned in the last 3 years about his hearing loss, his apraxia, and his abilities and disabilities. She was clearly blown away by the things we’d done at home to address his fine motor issues (most of them ‘normal’ for homeschooling families, things like tactile learning for letters, copying and tracing letters and shapes, and practice, practice, practice). I look forward to working with her and am excited to see that God has given Logan another advocate in the school system to help us meet his needs. Makes me wonder, though, why it is I continue to doubt. God gave us this child, and has promised to provide what we need. So why does it surprise me when He does what He promises??

Now, the long grass in the backyard is calling. I’m going to get out the lawnmower and take care of it! Sunshine…freshly mowed yard…one could almost think it was spring. Almost. A few degrees warmer and I might even buy it. While I’m out there, I get to see the peach tree in bloom…

Such a pretty sight! Makes me smile…and eagerly anticipate some peaches this year!

oh my word

2011-04-28T12:08:00.001-07:00

Is there anything worse in the world than being 6 years old and having your brother and your friend refuse to do exactly as you order? Perhaps being 6, having your brother refuse to do exactly as you order, and not feeling well??? My best guess is that one of mine thinks that second combination is pretty close to the end of the world. I’m currently of the opinion that there is one thing worse: being the parent of the whiny, bossy, disappointed, ill child. <sigh>

Calgon, take me away!!

April 27

2011-04-27T22:21:00.001-07:00

Sitting at Starbucks tonight having tea with a friend, I was having a hard time believing that it is really the 27th of April. How many times in SEATTLE does snow fall on April 27??? Yes, I was watching snow fall. I can’t believe it. I’m tired of being cold and wet!!

25 years ago today, a very young man asked an even younger girl to marry him. She said yes, and they started planning a wedding. Just over 4 months later, they said their “I do” and began a new life together. Now he’s old and she’s not quite as young, and while they don’t specifically celebrate the date of their engagement, it is a day of celebration in their home.

You see, on April 27, 1989, the third anniversary of their engagement, a baby boy was born to them. Weighing in at over 9 pounds, he was everything they dreamed of. That baby boy grew and grew (and GREW!) to become a wonderful young man. Brent, we are so proud of you!! We wish you a very happy birthday, and a year filled with unexpected blessings. May it be a much happier year than the past one. :)

3 steps forward…

2011-04-26T14:12:00.001-07:00

…2 steps (4 steps? 9 steps? 17 steps?) back.

It’s been one of those days. Generally, I enjoy homeschooling. I love seeing the boys learn. I love watching the light come on, seeing them ‘get it.’ And for the most part, it’s been that way all year. Sure, we’ve had some bumpy patches and some places where I wondered what on earth I was doing. Mostly, though, it’s been steady (albeit slow, for one) progress. I’ve been pleased. This morning, though, I was ready to throw in the towel. We have been working on phonemes (the basic speech sounds that, when combined, form words) and phonemic awareness. Logan’s done incredibly well—better than I expected; exceptionally well considering both his hearing loss and his limited (3 year) exposure to English. Most students, when they learn to read, have had somewhere between 5 and 6 years of exposure to English. We’ve spent the last 25 or so weeks working on letter sounds in the initial position. He can almost always identify the sound, and typically can match the sound to the letter symbol. The letter name? Not there yet, but since we’re not shooting to win the Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee any time soon, I don’t really care.

Today, we introduced recognizing the letter sound in the final position. Uh….yeah. Dream on, Mom. It was SO FAR beyond anything he could wrap his mind around I felt like we were back in August again. It was so discouraging! For both of us, since he knew he wasn’t getting it. After trying for a LONG time, we put the lesson aside and agreed to come back to it later. Or tomorrow. And I spent the next 15 minutes with my head in my hands, wondering why on earth I thought I could do this. Wondering HOW to help him understand. Wondering if we would ever master this and be able to move on to the next step. And I spent time being very grateful that I am home and can homeschool, since seeing him struggle again this morning reminded me clearly once again that he is NOT a candidate for a classroom. He wouldn’t make it. He simply wouldn’t. When I remember that 80% of children with hearing loss graduate from high school functionally illiterate, it motivates me. It motivates me to stick with it—he will NOT be part of that statistic. I can do better than the local school system. Or at least it’s awful hard to do worse. It motivates me to rethink how to teach him—failure is not an option. It inspires me to get creative, to think outside the box.

The gap between the boys continues to grow. It is difficult for Logan, and yet he is still motivated to keep up with Ryan. They are both inspired to keep going, so we keep plugging away. 4 more weeks this year, then they move into a modified summer session. We’ve gained too much ground with Logan to take a full summer break. His learning style won’t thrive with that. We will conquer this issue and move forward.

In the meantime, if you see me wandering aimlessly, send me back. It means I’ve taken an unauthorized leave. Of something. Just not my senses—they left a long time ago. :)

Who am I?

2011-04-25T09:56:00.001-07:00

She* wasn’t depressed. Not in the clinical “you have a brain chemical imbalance and need medication” sense anyway. Discouraged? Yep. Disillusioned? Certainly. Dissatisfied? Disheartened? Discontent? Yes. Yes. Yes. Her family was growing up. Her children were all in school full time. Her husband had a great job that more than adequately met their needs, and they had agreed early on that she would be the ‘at home’ parent, volunteering in classrooms and managing the household, even when the children weren’t home full time. No, that wasn’t really the problem. It was her. She was struggling with an identity crisis…of sorts. “Who am I? Really? Underneath all this?” she often wondered.
Her roles—wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend—were clear. Or were they? Under all those titles, who was this person wearing these hats? She really wasn’t sure. She had married young and had her babies young. She didn’t have a career to fall back on. Honestly, she doesn’t even really want one. Most of the time. She had never lived anywhere but with her parents or with her husband. She didn’t know what it was to be on her own, and at the moment it sounded completely heavenly. She even fantasized about running away. No one to cook for…except herself. No one to clean up after. No one clinging to her or crying at the bathroom door. There was a whole world out there to explore…and she was ‘stuck’ here with people who didn’t appreciate her. Or so it felt.
The more she thought about it, the worse things seemed. Her husband didn’t see HER anymore. She couldn’t remember the last time he had said she looked beautiful. He didn’t seem to notice the time she put into keeping the house clean and tidy, or cooking appealing meals. He only saw the messes, and felt free to call them out any time. (Only when she was older and wiser did she realize that perhaps he only saw the messes because she was so competent and so good at what she normally did that the mess was glaring.) Her children loved her, yes, but they only ‘needed’ her for rides to practices, hot food, and clean laundry. Was this all there was to life?
What about the dreams she had when she was a girl? What was it she wanted to do and be? And now, did she really like what she had done and become? Could she make changes and alter her course, or was it too late? Did she really want to? Or was it too hard, too frightening, too ‘out of character’ for her to even think about? What would people think? How would it affect her family? After pondering those questions for days (or weeks…or months…or even years), she decides to do:::nothing. “I’m just having a bad day. Tomorrow will be better.” she tells herself. And for a while it is. Maybe.
The thing is—if the root cause is not addressed, the problem is not resolved. For her, gutting it out meant that nothing changed. Nothing got worse, for sure, but things didn’t necessarily get better. Sure, she got better at ‘living with’ her issues, but they weren’t resolved. Even knowing who she is in Christ, knowing that He loves her, and understanding her value in His kingdom didn’t make things better. It helped, but the underlying issues still remain. And surprisingly few people are willing to truly hear her, to be open enough, transparent enough, to help her. Trying to explain it to her husband was hard…he just couldn’t understand what she was saying. Years later, the issues she thought were gone pop up again, and this time it’s harder to cope. Harder to ‘gut it out,’ to want to stay with the status quo, and much, much harder to talk about. After all, life is just that much better, from all appearances. The kids are great people, mostly grown and starting to be on their own. Her husband is successful, and their marriage seems to be great. Yet she still struggles with her own identity crisis. Every day, she wonders, “What is the answer to this? Who am I? Who do I WANT to be?” And she feels like the questions still have no answers…
*’She’ is not a single person; ‘she’ is a composite of women I have met and talked to over the years. Young moms, gals my age, older women—many of them have shared pieces of this story. Often shared in desperation, they feel totally alone. I am honest with them: I understand. I get it...most of it. I’ve been there...or some of those places. I only wish I had answers. For all of us.

hmmm….

2011-04-24T21:45:00.001-07:00

Emotional maturity: the point at which you realize that most of your life is beyond your control.

If that’s the definition, then I guess I’m there. Fortunately, although my life is beyond my control, it is NEVER beyond God’s control. Since He has a much better view of the big picture, I’m totally okay with that.

Easter

2011-04-23T22:23:00.001-07:00

I”m having trouble adjusting to such a late Easter. The end of April is birthday time at our house—Jim, Brent, and Hailey in a 15 day stretch—and somehow, adding Easter to this mix feels wrong. In the rush that is our perpetual birthday week, it can feel lost in the shuffle.

I love Easter. It’s one of my very favorite days. Even better than Christmas! :) It’s not so much that we DO anything special at Easter (because we generally don’t) but more the opportunity to reflect on new life. Flowers are blooming. Trees are budding. Birds are back, chirping in the (very!) early morning. Frogs are back in the ponds, singing their songs in the evening. The sun shines, and even feels warm! After a long, cold, rainy winter, the change is refreshing. With everything so new and alive, it’s hard to not see God. His handiwork is EVERYWHERE in the spring. And with the glorious reminders of His creativity and power come opportunities to reflect on His sacrifice that allows us to become new creatures. That’s why I love Easter. It’s a time of new growth, of change, of rebirth.

This year, Easter comes with a bonus—another birthday. My nephew Nicholas turns 9 tomorrow. Last April we learned that his Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL) had returned. Again. This time, it returned after a bone marrow transplant. The odds were definitely against him. The survival rate for a second transplant sounded grim. There weren’t many (any?) other options, and Nick had a second transplant last fall. Now 7 months post-transplant, he looks and feels healthy. He’s back in school and doing well. He’s amazed his doctors. As we celebrated his birthday with a family dinner tonight, I took a moment and thanked God for the miracle amongst us this afternoon—Nick. It was another reminder of the preciousness of new life, the blessing of second chances.

Tomorrow, the sunshine we enjoyed today will likely be gone. It will be missed! We’re off to church in the morning. Then we’ll have an Easter Egg hunt and dinner with my parents. Not the fanciest, most exciting way to spend the day, but probably the best way. Enjoyable, peaceful, and filled with family, with plenty of opportunity to reflect on the best gift of all—Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

~Jesus Paid it All by Elvina M. Hall, 1865

tulips!

2011-04-22T16:36:00.001-07:00

And probably my favorite. I’d call it “Dare to be different”

Celebration time

2011-04-22T09:59:00.001-07:00

It’s a RED LETTER day!!

Ryan, who weighed only 37 pounds last month when he had his tonsils removed, lost 2 pounds after his tonsillectomy. At just over 6, he was a whopping 35 pounds on March 18. :(

This morning, though, 30+ days post surgery, Ryan got on the scale. He now weighs 39 pounds!! He is SO excited…only 1 more pound ‘til he’s ‘weight appropriate’ for a booster seat instead of a full sized (baby) car seat. That’s important when you are almost to 1st grade.

Some things are meant to be celebrated. We’re off on an adventure this morning…pictures later today. :)

all in a day’s work

2011-04-21T15:13:00.001-07:00

I snuck in some time to sew today! Made 3 burp rags and a blanket…still have a small blanket square left to finish. My house is a mess but I’m quite content. :)

Now I’d better go clean up my mess..

how’s that fair?

2011-04-20T07:52:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Jim got older. And I discovered that I must be getting senile. At least temporarily…

It started when I got out of bed. I’d spent part of the night feeling like I’d been hit with the stomach flu, so I definitely wasn’t at my best to start the day. I tried to make his coffee and his lunch (like I do every day) but it didn’t go well. I forgot to close the coffee maker, so the coffee didn’t drip into the pot. I didn’t close the thermos correctly, and I spilled raisins all over the floor. After I was done and the messes were cleaned up, I woke Tori and told her I didn't feel well, that I was heading back to bed. Great, right? Yeah. Not so much. I was almost immediately joined by two little boys who wanted to ‘snuggle.’ Normally I don’t mind—actually, normally it doesn’t happen because I’ve already showered before they get up!—but yesterday their squabbling and wiggling started to make me crazy. Once we finally started the day, it went downhill very fast. I

gave the boys breakfast, but forgot to hand them spoons for their cereal
tried to complete our school day, but had trouble focusing
went grocery and birthday shopping (needed to be done!) and forgot several key things like carrots and asparagus (for the birthday dinner!), gum for the girl who asked so nicely, and checking the price on something Jim had asked about. More than once. I DID remember the birthday presents though.
tried to make the birthday dessert and had to start over because I couldn’t follow directions
finished the dishes after dinner but forgot to turn on the very full dishwasher

That’s just a start to my senile day! Fortunately, today is much improved already. I feel about 1000% better and am looking forward to a delightful day. The things I missed yesterday in my temporary senility are not critical and can be taken care of today. And I am eagerly anticipating a nice evening out, combining some things I need to do with time for myself, doing some things I want to do. Perfect!

predictable??

2011-04-19T15:23:00.001-07:00

I was texting last night with one of my girls. She had wanted to know if I’d heard some news she found interesting. I had, and we chatted a bit about what had happened and the consequences of actions. Then I threw out a comment that didn’t seem like ‘typical’ me, but apparently it didn’t surprise her at all. Her reply? “How did I know you were going to say something like that? :) I love you!”

“Hmmm…” I replied. “I’m your mom. I am the ultimate in predictability. Or boring. Or something like that. :\”

Her response to that stopped me in my tracks:

“It’s okay. You’re not boring. And there is not one single problem with having family members know you so well. :) In fact, I hear it’s encouraged…”

Wise truth from an 18 year old. She finished our conversation with a very sweet “I love you mommy! Sleep well. :)” She went on about her night, and I sat in my chair, thinking about what she’d said. Yes, it’s good to be predictable. It’s great that she knows me well enough to know what my response would be. But is it so wonderful that I’m THAT predictable? I’m not sure. Gonna have to think on that one a bit….

Monday :(

2011-04-18T08:57:00.001-07:00

Feeling a bit unsettled and discontent today. I’m not even really sure why…or what would make things better. It would probably help to be able to put it into words, but since I’m not sure exactly what’s bugging me, putting it into words clearly isn’t going to happen.

So…what WILL happen today? Laundry, for sure. At least 3 loads. Speech therapy. School for the dynamic duo. School for my high school friend. Dinner, for company tonight. Birthday shopping for Jim, since tomorrow is his day.

At the moment, that’s about all that is clear. Guess I should get started…

Bronc-ver? Beav-os??

2011-04-17T19:59:00.001-07:00

When you live in a house with an Oregon State University Beaver alum (Daddy), a Boise State University Bronco (Brent), a University of Washington Husky (Hailey), and a Washington State University Cougar (Emily), choosing a school to support can get a bit tricky. Logan’s figured out a way around the problem—stick with the guys. He’s got the male side of the house covered. Oregon State University colors are orange and black. Boise State University colors are orange and blue. His new shoes? Yep. Check them out:

Pretty cool, huh? I’m just not sure shoes that are purple, gold, crimson, and grey would be very attractive. Good thing he’s not interested in choosing shoes in the colors of the girls’ schools, I guess.

*****************************************

Computer viruses are no fun. We picked one up on Thursday afternoon…fortunately, we managed to clean the computer and restore it to health. But because it was out of commission until today, I couldn’t post yesterday. :(

baskets, bike rides, and bubble wrap

2011-04-15T12:53:00.001-07:00

The rain continues here, although it has slowed to a constant drizzle, thankfully. I think. At some level, rain is rain. :(

The day started out with a bit of a tussle. Friday is laundry day, and the dynamic duo decided they needed to sit in the laundry basket. After a few cross words, one went upstairs and brought down the second basket…and voila! instant happiness. See?

Then, to burn off some of the excess energy from being cooped up for far too long, we loaded the bikes into the car and headed for the trail near the house. The boys had a ball, and I learned some things. One is that when you only weigh 35 pounds, trying to walk a bike with training wheels down a big hill is not as easy as it sounds. The bike WILL get away from you…very quickly. And one of the boys learned two new things today: 1) that using your brand new shoes as brakes will make Momma VERY unhappy, and 2) how to use the brakes on the bike. I wasn’t aware of the fact that he didn’t know! They had fun anyway…

The trail runs through some fairly large wetlands, and the boys had their first experience with skunk cabbage. It’s in full bloom, and you DEFINITELY notice it. :) Good thing it’s interesting to look at…

When we got home there was a package on the front porch. Not particularly exciting for the boys, but they sure got jazzed about the bubble wrap! Three sheets…one for each of us. Perfect to pop while waiting for lunch.

Baskets, bike rides, and bubble wrap? Beats blue Friday hands down!

apraxia…again

2011-04-14T15:35:00.001-07:00

Imagine for a moment that you KNOW what you want to do, but you simply cannot coordinate your muscles to do it. It feels like they aren’t communicating with your brain. You can clearly SEE how something is supposed to be done, but when it’s your turn, your fingers don’t grasp things the right way and your wrists seem to bend the wrong direction and your elbows get in the way…all because the your ability to coordinate complex motor activities is compromised. Somehow. No one can explain exactly how, but you know that it is. Maybe putting socks on your hands and braces on your wrists would start to approximate the difficulty coordinating things. Now try and learn to tie your shoes.

But wait! Remember that in addition to the apraxia, you have a hearing loss. And an auditory processing issue, which means that somewhere between your ears and your brain, the words you CAN hear get lost in translation. NOW try to learn to tie your shoes.

He tries hard. He really does. But the deck is SO stacked against him. And I don’t have the foggiest idea how to help. We’ve tried all sorts of options, but nothing seems to work well. Because he has vestibular (inner ear, affecting balance) issues, the OT and the PT thinks he needs vestibular therapy. Because he has apraxia, the vestibular therapist recommends OT/PT. Because of his hearing loss and his auditory processing issues, being able to hear and comprehend directions would go a long ways toward learning new motor skills. We’re just not there. Some days I feel like we’re not ever going to get there. I’m getting better at thinking outside the box, but this box is bigger than any I’ve encountered before. I’m stumped. And frustrated. (And too old for this!!)

When you add another cold grey soggy day to the mix, it starts to feel a bit overwhelming. I had some fun plans for tomorrow, a nice change of pace, that we’ll likely skip because of this infernal rain. It can get old fast. I’m ready for a break. I’m ready for SPRING. It’s supposed to be here. But since it doesn’t appear to be anywhere in sight, I guess I”ll have to find something else for my restlessness. A project with a short term end product (unlike homeschooling!) might be just the ticket. Time to start a new quilt? Maybe…

(almost) wordless Wednesday

2011-04-13T21:07:00.001-07:00

A breakfast favorite here:

Cream of wheat—with a few chocolate chips, a little vanilla ice cream, and a scattering of sprinkles. Definitely a hit with the little guys.

now we are 6

2011-04-12T16:09:00.001-07:00

The joys of being 6 include another lost tooth…

…and lunch with a very special friend. Who willingly shares her DS. What more could 6 year olds want??

Sorry it’s so blurry. :(